Some people say they just don't feel kindly, so being unkind is just their nature. Uh, no. Just as it is possible for us to feel angry without acting it out, so is it possible for us to behave with kindness.
It takes practice. When you slow down enough to recognize other's feelings and needs, you can begin to develop empathy. Then kindness follows naturally. But, even without feelings of empathy, we can do kind things. The more kindness we practice the more we develop our empathy. That makes kindness more than a feeling. It becomes a behavior.
Which comes first, feeling or behavior? That is our personal choice. We can choose not to do kind things, even when we have empathy for a person. The reverse is also true - we can choose to develop empathy for others while we do kindnesses.
Encourage those feelings of empathy rather than run away from them. You feel bad for the fellow asking for handouts, but you turn away. Instead, look him in the eye, give him a friendly greeting, even if you have nothing else for him. "Have a good day." Or, better yet, strike up a conversation about how he got into the situation he is in. Take him to lunch instead of handing him money.
I remember when I was working in one part of town there was an old man asking for help on the same corner every day. So I started packing a lunch for him. I couldn't spend time with him, but I could feed him one meal that day.
This week, pay attention to how many people you see that you don't know - and greet them with a smile. That's all. Acknowledge they have been seen and given the gift of friendliness. Try it. It is free of charge. It is interesting how many people are uncomfortable being greeted by you, a stranger. That is because there is so much unkindness out there. We can change that. Being kind to that stranger can start them feeling kind to others.
Pass it on.
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