Sunday, May 19, 2019

What Do You Hope For?

"HOPE can be defined as the desire for something combined with an anticipation of it happening. In short, hope is the anticipation of something" Psychology Today

It is far too easy to give up hoping for better things. People today are pummelled with bad news and negativity until hope seems like it isn't worth the effort.

But, really, what do you hope for? Hope implies some anticipation, however limited, of it manifesting in our lives, All too often our fear of being disappointed keeps us from even hoping.

We may dream, without any anticipation. Therefore we have no hope. However, without hope we are unlikely to do anything that might move us toward manifesting our dreams. 

Hope is SO important for us to move forward. Giving up hope is surrender. Now is not the time to surrender. We must look at what we hope for with the eyse of one who can see the first step we must take. Open your eyes and ask what one thing you might do to make something begin to happen that you hope for. 

Maybe it is simply the step of acknowleging that you want it. Maybe it is taking time to make a plan, step-by-step. Maybe it is asking someone to help.

What ever that first step is, you are worth the effort to hope.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Is It Technology?

People don't seem to go visit anymore. When I was growing up in the fifties and sixties, Sunday afternoons usually included either visiting family or friends at their house or having them visit at ours.

My mom would fix a big Sunday dinner and everyone would gather aroung the diningroom table. Or we'd go to my grandmother's for dinner. I remember how she loved watermelon and deserts. 

People didn't all have televisions and no one had smart phones. Our phones were big clunky black things, sometimes on a party line. I don't remember spending much time on the phone until I was a teenager. It was rather unusual for the phone to ring, actually.

There was always lots of chatting and laughter. Now when there are folks to dinner they can't seem to be separate from their phones. They aren't even talking on them. They are texting or playing games. I feel rather disrespected by it. There isn't as much chatting with everyone at the table and the laughter is less frequent.

And when was the last time you received a personal letter via the postal service? Email makes contacting much easier and quicker. But I miss the excitement of getting hand-written letters. It feels more personal than getting "mail" through a computer. When someone takes the time to write me a letter I feel really connected, personal, even special. 

I confess I seldom write letters anymore, only email. So I'm guilty of taking the easy way. Yet I do feel less connected.

And then there is social media, certainly not personal or private, even when people seem to forget that and put all kinds of personal information on it for anyone to see. It always bothers me when people go on social media and talk about their vacation while they are away, letting the world know that their home is uninhabited and ripe for theivery. I only talk about vacations when we are back home.

Yes, technology has changed the way we do a lot of things. Sometimes that's positive and sometimes not. But it is here to stay, so we need to use it to bring us closer together rather than apart. Drop a note or a card to someone in the mail and make their day. Turn off your phones when you are visiting/dining. And invite folks to Sunday dinner for some chatter and laughter. We can have both personal and private contact as well as technology.

Sunday, May 5, 2019

Are You Serious?!?

Are you Serious?!? People say that when you tell them something the find hard to believe is true. But I'm asking about your demeanor. I am serious too much of the time while I'm recouperating from this injury. It is hard to keep a sense of humor when I'm in so much pain.

But even when I'm not in pain I tend to be a serious person. Oh, I usually have a sense of humor. I can laugh if something is funny. On occasion I can even be silly. But I an inhibited by my concerns about what others might think. My sense of humor is more likely to be present around people I trust - my spouse, my offspring.

When I was working I was in an environment that was very serious. I worked in male prisons. In one job I worked in a psychiatric unit in a prison. So you can see that having a sense of humor might make one vulnerable. Not a condition I wanted to be in. Just being a female authority in a male prison was vulnerable enough.

What about you? How's your sense of humor? Does it help you? How?

"Humour or humor is the tendency of experiences to provoke laughter and provide amusement. The term derives from the humoral medicine of the ancient Greeks, which taught that the balance of fluids in the human body, known as humours, controlled human health and emotion.

People of all ages and cultures respond to humour. Most people are able to experience humour—be amused, smile or laugh at something funny—and thus are considered to have a sense of humour. The hypothetical person lacking a sense of humour would likely find the behaviour inducing it to be inexplicable, strange, or even irrational. Though ultimately decided by personal taste, the extent to which a person finds something humorous depends on a host of variables, including geographical location, culture, maturity, level of education, intelligence and context." [YouTube]

What makes things funny? Check out this TedTalk:

Check out what is funny today. Check out when you were funny today.

Sunday, April 28, 2019

I Used To Be A Writer

I've published poetry, short stories, even co-authored an article for a professional journal.

I thought a blog would help me get back to writing, since I'd have deadlines and I could chose subjects that interested me.

But I'm now failing to meet the deadlines, missed last Wednesday' all together. I've been over dependent on YouTube to "speak" for me.

It is probably related to this medical issue of pain after my fall in March. There has been a lot of severe pain and multible medical appointments, physical therapy, and trips to the drug store.

So that might be a reason, but not really an excuse. I've had time to play games on FaceBook that I could have used writing.

I need to re-evaluate my desire to write and make some decisions. For now, I'm going to give up the Wednesday post and, hopefully, focus on one post a week.

What do you think? Got any ideas for post topics? Would appreciate your feedback. What would you like to know more about?

Sunday, April 21, 2019

What We Need to Change the World

We need, at the very least, hope that positive change can happen, hope that it will happen, hope that what we each do will make a positive difference. Without hope we will stop doing anything to help that change before we even begin. What specific change do you hope for? Keep that hope alive. Nurture that hope. Fix the image of that change in your mind and use your hope to keep you going.

The next thing you need is faith. You must have faith that you can create that change. You must believe in yourself and believe in the change you want to make. Faith can keep you hope alive and keep you on task toward the change you want to make. And you need faith in others to work toward positive change. On your own, without the help of others, your power to change the world is quite limited. You need faith in those who join you in your quest for change  Having faith in each other makes great things happen.

And under-girding it all is Love. Love must be the reason for change. Love for yourself and for others is imperative for positive change. It must be the reason for your desire for change. Love will power you through. Without love it is too easy to give up. Know what you care about and why you want to make change happen. When you love is strong and evidenced by others your desire for positive change will be joined by the love of others to make things happen.

So what do you love enough to make a difference? What makes you ache when you experience it? Do you love those who have lost their home, those who have fallen into addictions, those who are trapped in poverty? Those who are children separated from thier parents by government policies? Those who are maimed by war? Those who greive the loss of family member to war? Those who live on the streets or homeless camps? Those who are preyed upon by bullies? 

There is no end of causes you might care about because. Watch the news, read the papers and magazine, listen to politicians, look around you in your city. Where is your heart drawn to make positive change to begin to resolve them? 

What beginning steps can yoiu do to begin the change? When will you begin? Be sure to use your hope to clarify the change you want to see. Have faith that you can help make that change. And keep love for others powering your choices.

What will you do?

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Sometimes It Is Hard to Believe in the Kindness of Humanity

We see so many news items about meanness, cruelty, disrespect, war, hatred, that it seems like the whole world is hopeless.. 

So, today let's look for and create kindness. Do something to help someone who needs it. Make this a day of random acts of kindness.

Here is a video to inspire you: 

Tell us what you can do to make the world a world of kindness.

Sunday, April 14, 2019

So, It's Sunday

It's Sunday and I don't have a post ready. This is happening far too often. Life is getting in my way of writing. 

What gets in your way of doing what you want? Maybe you want to save money, or learn a new skill, or work on a project that you've started but never finished. Or maybe there are things you think you should do, but never have gotten around to doing it.

Why do we let things get in our way. I've always thought that if you really wanted to do something you'd find a way to do it, you'd prioritize it. But then something gets in the way. Life can put things in our path that have to be dealt with then and there. And that gets us off course.

My reason is the recovery from my fall. There are doctor's appointments, physical therapy, pain, need for rest. It is amazing how much energy pain takes. 

And it's not like I don't have time. I do. I just find that once I'm off track I forget to get back on track.

So I'm sitting here looking at my to-do list and it doesn't have blog post on it! I need a cattle prod, I guess.

So I'm curious. What gets in your way? And how do you get youself back on track? Or are you one of those folks who never gets side-tracted? 

Share please.

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

Wow! YouTube Has Great Advice

Who do you go to for advice in your life? Have you checked out YouTube for direction?

Try this one. Don't let anything limit you.

Good advice here. Watch it over and over to get all of it into your mind. You can make your own independence and great life.

Sunday, April 7, 2019

In Just An Instant Life Can Change

There are so many things that can bring your life to a road block or a detour or even to a complete stop! We tend to go along on our life's path with goals or mile markers. We expect achievements, large or small, and celebrate them. 

And then something happens. It could be anything from a flat tire to major surgery. Some instants are bigger, more powerful than others. A flat tire will delay you an hour, perhaps. While major surgery could end up turning your life around in another direction due to physical outcomes.

What does this teach us? How can we be prepared for something we don't even know about, something totally unexpected? 

I think the best we can do is develop a "go with the flow" additude in life. Yes, have and work toward goals, knowing that there may be bumps in the road to attaining that goal. When something comes along to change your plans, accept that which you can't change. And be willing to change the things you can. 

My fall last month happened in a split second. I stepped on black ice and was on the ground before I knew it. The weeks since then have been challenging and really interruped my movement, litterally, toward my goals. Thankfully, my hip was not broken, so the detour will not take as long. But the other injuries have brought me to a screeching stop toward some things. 

There many ways your life can be interrupted. Try letting go of so much tight control and go with the flow. You'll get through life's speed bumps more easily.

Sunday, March 31, 2019

Did You Miss It?

I didn't publish a post last Wednesday, March 27. I was wondering if anyone missed it.

I was dealing with some painful medical issues and just didn't have the energy to write anything at all. And I was wondering, how many things that we see or hear regularly would we miss if it just wasn't there?

Is there someone you'd miss if they didn't phone or stop by? If you pet dog or cat didn't greet you when you got home, would you miss it? If you didn't get any mail for several days, would you miss it?

There are trains that go by about a mile from us. I can hear them at night when there is more quiet. But most of the time I don't even listen for them. Would I miss it if they never go by again?

We had tornado sirens go off Wednesday morning. It was a beautiful sunny day without much wind. It felt really strange to prepare for a tornado.  I just didn't know that all the tornato alarms were being tested that morning..We usually hear it go off every Wednesday at noon. That day it didn't because it had already been tested in the morning.

Lots of people didn't even notice it. I guess the siren only gets us to look out at the weather to see if it could really be a tornado. However, where we live, most people ignore the warning because we seldom have tornados touch down near us. Probably not a good idea to ignore it, though.

And as I thought more of missing things, I thought about some of the things that aren't around any more. I am old, remember, so lots of things have changed. I miss having young people who want to do things like cut grass or shovel snow to earn a little extra money. I miss the milk and bread being delivered every week. I miss friends who just drop in to visit for no special reason. I miss laundry that smells like sunshine. I miss feeling safe enough to leave the doors unlocked, to just latch the screen door at night to get more air. 

Then, of course, there are so many things I miss simply because I can no longer do them. I am no longer physically able to do lots of things I used to enjoy. I can't go for long walks or hikes. I can't run or play games like badminton. We go for rides sometimes and I see kids playing hopscotch and hide and seek. I'd love to be able to do that now. I even used to enjoy mowing the lawn. Can't do that either. 

I'm finding this subject to be depressing, so I'll take a look at things I can do. I can think, write, daydream, have conversations. I can appreciate beauty. I can paint. I can provide feedback to people who want it. I can love. I can organize projects to help the homeless or other needy folk. I can laugh. I can enjoy music. I can read, to myself and to my great-granddaughter. I can share my blessings with others.

So, now I'm wondering what you miss and what you can do. Or if you even ever think about it.

Sunday, March 24, 2019

What's It Worth to You?

You would think that it would be easy for us to make decisions about what to do, when to do it, how to do it. But I've not found that to be easy if I haven't figured out the values involved in those choices.

Your personal values are what is important to you. Take choosing a career or job, for instance. Do you take anything that comes your way? Or do you look at how that job fits with your personal values. 

Let's say your family is important to you. You want a job that will enable you to meet the needs of your family. That means more than just wages to meet the property needs - housing, clothing, nutrition, etc. It also mean that you want a job that will give you quality time with your family so you can be a good parent or spouse.

What situations are important to you in your work? Do you want to work with people? with tools, with nature? Do you want to work indoors our outdoors? If you don't particularly like dealing with all kinds of people, you won't be happy in a service job that requires you to serve all kinds of people.

What do you want from your job beyond a paycheck? Autonomy? Prestige? Respect? Admiration? Appreciation? Gratitude? Power? These are just a few things you might get from certain kinds of jobs. If you don't know what is important to you, you could end up very unsatisfied with your job.

And what value do you put on any of the above options? Is one thing more important than another? And is that going to always be the case? How do you see your self and your life changing in ten years? Will you still want the same things? Or will some things become less or more important as you mature/age?

Are you looking for a ladder job or a bridge job? A ladder job is one that will have opportunities for you to gain advancement in it. A bridge job is one that will give you experience or contacts that will move you into another kind of work at about the same level. Both kinds of jobs have their pros and cons, depending on where you are at the moment.

So when you are making important life choices, like finding a job, it is vital that you know what is important to you. It can be true in choosing relationships, in buying a home, in deciding to go for more school or training. 

If you don't know what is important to you, you are not likely to get what will work best for you. And, afterall, that is what you want.

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

Who's In Control of You?

Is your life feeling out of control? Maybe that is because you give the control to other things and other people. 

You can take back the control if you don't let that which is outside of you control you. It only requires that you change what you think and believe.

There are five things you must never allow to control you. Check out this YouTube video to know more.

It is all about you and how you choose to live your personal power.

Sunday, March 17, 2019

Where Does It Hurt?

There are different kinds of pain - emotional pain and physical pain. I've had plenty of the first in my seventy-seven years. Maybe we will look at emotional pain another day. But recently I've been dealing with the physical kind.

I fell two weeks ago and ended up pretty laid up with pain for more than a week. I broke the large joint in my big toe and pulled a muscle in my glutes. It was very painful and I spent most of my time in a recliner, sometimes reading, sometimes watching videos, sometimes dozing. Only in the last three days have I been able to walk unaided and wearing a "boot" on one foot.

I have a pretty high tolerance to pain, usually. So it has been a surprise for me to have this much pain for this long. And being the most independent of types, I hate not being able  to do for myself.

Now, I know we have each had some kind of pain in our lives, probably both emotinal and physical. And how we react to that is different for each of us. Personally, I usually try to hide my pain, both kinds. That isn't the healthiest way to deal with it.

Pain is a symptom that something isn't right. We need to identify the cause and try to fix it. Hiding it from others only makes it harder for us to do that.

Are you the type that holds it all inside? Or do you tend to make such a fuss that others have trouble tolerating you? Hopefully you are somewhere in between so that you get the help you need to make things right.

Want to know more about physical pain? Check out this MedLine Plus site:

And I hope all your pains are little ones!

Wednesday, March 13, 2019

Why Aren't There More Women at The Top?

This is Women's History Month and there is a lot of focus on women's accomplishments. That is because women deliver results. They are equally talented and motivated as men. Aren't they?

Listen to this TedTalk to learn why more women are not at the top of their professions.

When fifty percent of world leaders are women and fifty percent of company executives are women, I believe the world will be better.

What do you think?

Sunday, March 10, 2019

Time to Change, Your Clock That Is.

Have you wondered why we give up an hour this morning? This YouTube video will help explain.

Now you know! In three days you should be fine. 

Go out and do something nice for someone to make their sleep-deprived day a little better.

Wednesday, March 6, 2019

The Cost of Kindness

Why are there fewer kind people? Well, first of all, that is an invalid question. There are lots of kind people. In fact, I believe that most people are kind in many ways. However, because kindness has a cost, lots of us pass up the opportunities to be kind to others.

What costs us to be kind? Many acts of kindness cost time. In our rushing through busy, busy days we think we just don't have time. Many opportunities for kindness don't really cost much of our time. But they would interrupt our movement forward. Stopping to help someone can seem like we just don't have the time.

Yet, how long does it take really to hold the door for someone who isn't quite at the door and you have to hold it for just a few seconds longer than it would take for you to pass through the door? How long does it take to pick up litter on your way to or from someplace? If you are really a kind person you might build an extra five minutes into your schedule to make it easy for you to use a few minutes to help someone else.

So, acts of kindness might be inconvenient. They might take you out of your comfort zone, like saying "hello" to a homeless person, even if you don't donate a dollar. Like supporting an unpopular cause or intervene in a contentious rasist verbal barb.

Some acts of kindness might require physical effort, like volunteering on a project with Habitat for Humanity or carrying someone's parcels for them.You might help an elderly person with yard work or home improvements. You might need to step in to help someone get something done.

Some acts of kindness might cost you money, large or small amounts. You might give money to a vagrant or donate to a charity. It is more meaningful when you give generously rather than "small change"

So there is nice - and there is NICE. Small sacrifice or large sacrifice may be the opportunity that comes your way.

In spite of the sacrifice, helping others, being nice, has a big payoff in making the world a better place.

Sunday, March 3, 2019

Connectedness in Childhood Determines Your Relationships in Adulthood

Image by RitaE on Pixabay

Have you ever wondered why so many people have trouble in relationships? Much of who we become is determined by what we experience in the earliest years of our childhood. Research has determined time and again that the way we connect with people as a child shapes our responses to relationships as an adult.

Here's a video that explains it simply:

This doesn't mean you can't retrain yourself as an adult. But if you don't recognize what is the problem you have little chance of resolving it. You may want to find support for change with a therapist or a growth group. But as long as you keep the same thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you will have problems.

If you are a parent, recognize how you connect with your children. Help them to feel secure in the world. Help them feel safe to explore the world.

Wednesday, February 27, 2019

Are You As Sick As The Secrets You Keep?`

Image by LeandroDeCarvalho on Pixabay

Sometimes we harbor secrets in our hearts and minds. And these secrets determine how we live our lives. In the recovery groups we learn that "We are only as sick as the secrets we keep." These secrets may be in our subconscious and determine how we think and feel about what happens in our lives.
The secrets may be in your memory and you don't share them because of fear. This fear can keep us sick, in mind and body.

In a TedTalk the syndrome is described in a way to make sense of it. Kristy Spraggon shares her secret in just over eight minutes.

What are you keeping secret? How does it affect your life? Find someone to share it with so that you can be free.

Image by Myriams-Fotos on Pixabay

Sunday, February 24, 2019

Happy Birthday?

There is just something about birthdays that can trigger good or bad feelings, memories.

I'll be 77 years old tomorrow, Monday the 25th. And this year it doesn't feel good. Usually I celebrate the years as they pass and find good things cropping up all around me. This year I'm struggling to do that.

I've had some physical setbacks that leave me feeling discouraged about my future. While I know that there is a whole lot of goodness in my life, I'm depressed and struggling to connect with the good.

How do you approach your birthday? Since I've been having medical issues and, more recently, I've fallen, it is painful and a struggle just to move around. While I know the pain will lessen in time, I have concerns of being an old lady who falls a lot.

I've got to adjust my attitude! This young woman in this TedX talk tells how it matters.

And I know that is true. I just need to want to do something badly enough to do it!

Don't worry. Be happy.

Thursday, February 21, 2019


Do you have trouble apologizing? Is your apology meaningful or is it a reflexive "Sorry" that does little to heal a relationship.

YouTube provides a video that can help you "get it right." Check it out.

I'm sorry I didn't get a blog published for yesterday. That's not a big deal in the scheme of things. But it gave me an idea of what to post about. We are in a time when apologies are more about getting something than giving something, if there is an apology at all.

Some really bad behaviors go on without apology. Or the apology is not meaningful. And we are left with a jumble of unresolved emotions. This ruins relationships. Check out why apologies are important in the TED Talk below.

So, I'm sorry I missed a deadline because of a medical emergency. But all is well now and I hope to stay on schedule in the future. I want you to be able to count on a post each Wednesday and Sunday.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Kids Know

We can learn a lot from kids. They know things we've forgotten. We probably knew them when we were kids. But somehow growing up has taught us to ignore what we knew then.

Children are wise beyond their years. They can teach us about love. And in this Valentine month, let's see what they know about love in this YouTube video:

Wednesday, February 13, 2019

Laugh and the World Laughs With You

And that's a good thing! Laughter is healthy and healing. Laughter creates bonds between people. Laughter can change the world. When you laugh and the world laughs with you, change will happen, change for the good.

Check out this TedTalk.

Our world could sure use more laughter, that's for sure.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

What Do You Think?

Have you ever been told that you are what you think. Your brain is very powerful. When you learn to use it to make the changes for a better you and a better world, you will be surprised at how successful you can be.

If you want change, then you must change your mind. Watch this brief video for an explanation of how that works.

So, how do you forsee YOUR future? Try changing one thing today, just some little thing, like doing some task with your non-dominat hand. If you did that often enough, you'd teach your body to do it better than your brain. It would become a habit.

Learn some new fact today. It will change your mind in some way. Use it, remember it, and it becomes a permanent part of you.

Yeah, we are what we think.

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Thank You Isn't Enough

Well, it's a start. But most everyone is positively effected by expressions of appreciation. 

I have worked for several kinds of bosses. The best have been those who expressed appreciation for something that I've done. I work best for appreciation!

Take four minutes to hear more about the value of appreciation, and how you can change the world using it.

"In every day, there are 1,440 minutes. That means we have 1,440 daily opportunities to make a positive impact." - Les Brown

Tell someone something that you appreciate about them.

Sunday, February 3, 2019

How Do You Celebrate Your Birthday?

When I was growing up, birthdays were a big day at our house. There was always a birthday cake, except for my older brother who sometimes asked for lemon merainge pie instead. 

Sometimes we had a party with our friends invited, where we'd make party hats and play games and get little presents.

My mother seemed to always enjoy celebrating our birthdays. It was like it was our own personal holiday. I doubt if they had much to celebrate with when she was growing up and wanted us to have better.

For much of my adulthood my birthday was not terribly special, especially when I had no loving spouse. The kids would make me cards, though, and insist I bake a cake. For a long time I was single when my husband left us. We were really broke and the presents were usually what the kids made and a check in the mail from my Mom.

Then I was single and my kids were gone. I got birthday cards, usually, from friends, but I was still really poor, so didn't do much celebrating. I was struggling to go to graduate school and working a part-time job. It was a very lonely time because I commuted to school and wasn't involved in school activities. And I was living alone in a friends house as a house sitter. I had a couple of local friends and they checked in on me. But for the most part it was very lonely.

I finally finished school.  I had been living in a little cheap apartment. I had two temporary very part-time clerical jobs and couldn't find a job in my field in the town where I was living. I couldn't keep up with my expenses, so I gave up housekeeping and went to live with my mother in Columbus, Ohio. She, of course, always remembered my birthday. After a bit there I found a temporary job in my field and then a permanent one. Things were looking up.

My birthday is in February. In Central Ohio, that month is the grayest month, cold and damp and depressing. So after I moved into my own place, I began celebrating February as BGTL Month - Be Good to Lucinda Month. Every day of February I do something that makes me happy, makes me feel good.

It is sometimes hard to come up with 28 things, but I always manage. You see, being good to myself doesn't have to be a big thing. While there are some special things I do, any small thing can feel good. This month is no different. So far I've had Wendy's chili, which I really like. And spent an afternoon playing with my great-granddaughter. Today I will spend time doing art work.

While these are all rather normal things, the perspective of doing them as a way I am being good to myself makes all the difference. Why don't you try it? Whatever month your birthday falls in, spend it being good to yourself. Can't manage it for a month? Start with your birthday week.

Hope you have a happy birthday month, too! Let me know how it goes. And if you have suggestions for things I might do to BGTL, please leave them in a comment. (Actually, your comment will make my day special!)

Wednesday, January 30, 2019


Sometimes the needs that we see around us seem too big for us to make a difference. But really, all you need to do to help is to ask others to help you help.

That's not a tongue twister. That is a truth about generosity. You will be surprised how many people are willing, even eager, to help others. They just don't know how or where to lend their energy. So when you see a cause that you believe in that needs support. Engage your friends and family in helping you to help that cause.

One of my areas of interest is homeless people. Recently I learned about a family that had finally made it out of homelessness to rent an apartment. They can now have a place off the streets and out of crowded shelters. However, they used all their money for the apartment and have nothing but a roof over their heads. 

They are grateful for that, of course. But now they need a way to remain in a rental. The father has a job that doesn't go far enough. They lost everything they had in the last house they lived in, so can use almost anything you can think of.

I went on FaceBook and told their story and ask for donations of household items, clothing, food, etc. And hour later I had people offering all kinds of things. Now I will coordinate collecting items and getting them to the family.

People want to help, they just don't always know how. You can be a catalest that changes lives when you ask others to help you help. I do this kind of thing often and it never ceases to amaze me how generous people are.

Try it. Let me know how it works for you


Sunday, January 27, 2019

You Never Know

When you do an act of kindness you never know how much it affects the receipient. Sometimes a small act of kindness can make a big difference.

I know that many folks think that unless their act of kindness is big or expensive, it really doesn't count. But the little things do make a difference.

Consider this checkout clerk's act of kindness. The receipient was going through a rough time with her youngest child in the hospital. And it was the holiday season. She and her older son went grocery shopping. Weary from worry, she didn't expect to be treated special. Take a look, it's a short clip:

So, this clerk, who was probably dealing with all kinds of frazzeled shoppers during the holiday season, was attentive to her shopper and her shopper's child. And she took the time to treat them as special. It made all the difference.

So who might you treat as special today, or tomorrow, or the next day? Let's all practice paying it forward.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Pay It Forward Thursday

Tomorrow is Thursday. Let's make it Pay It Forward Thursday. Let's do at least one random act of kindness tomorrow.

Why Thursday? Well, why not? You might choose a different day, of course. But it helps to have a specific day to remind you to look for opportunities to pay it forward.

"But, wait," you say. "No one has done anything for me to pass it forward." That is hard to believe. There are so many ways to be kind that there must have been some kindness this week. The key is to be aware. Look for it. Be aware of when someone is kind and be aware of ways you can be kind.

Awareness is a tricky thing. We get focused on work, or a game, or a hobby, or whatever, to the  exclusion of whatever else is going on. When we do that we lose sight of the interactions with people around us.

Or, you are so focused on the negative that you don't see the positive. These days it is easy to look at and for the negative behaviors of others. Turn that off. Look for something positive in what goes on around us.

Avoid labeling people and look for the positive in each one. When people become labels they become things. My grandmother always said that there is something positive in everyone and everything. She was a true silver lining person.

Once we had packed the car with her suitcase for a trip we were taking the next day. But the car had to be serviced. While it was in the mechanic's garage, someone stole her suitcase out of the trunk. Her response was, "Maybe they need those clothes  more than me." She wasn't even angry about it.

So, if you can't find any kindness you've experienced, start the kindness chain yourself! Being kind and thoughtful to someone starts a ripple effect. Make waves. Pay it forward. Make it a habit. Find a way to be kind to someone tomorrow!

Sunday, January 20, 2019

Pay It Forward

I looked for videos about paying it forward. Most of them were about paying money for someone's meal, coffee, purchase, etc. But most of us don't have much money to spare these days and we may beleive we can't participate in paying it forward.

But we'd be wrong. Paying it forward simply means doing a random act of kindness. And there are so many ways to do that. It just takes being aware of other people and what they might need at any given moment.

For instance, I was headed for my car from the grocery store and someone came over and offered to lift my bags into my trunk. I was grateful.

That's all it takes. I've had shoppers help me when I shop in the grocery store by reaching for things that are high up and hard to reach. I've had people help me find something on my list that I couldn't find. Simple.

Sometimes it is a simple as letting another driver into your lane in front of you. Or even something no one may even think of as an act of kindness. Sometimes I go to a store where the carts are returned in a haphazard fashion. I just take a minute or two to put them in neatly so the next shopper doesn't have to fight for a cart.

Or maybe you just smile and say hello to someone you may not know but looks kind of down. Or offer to share an umbrella with someone who hasn't one. Or you say "Thank you" to someone who seldom gets thanked.

Many folks say, why bother? The answer is that we each have the capacity to make the world better, one act of kindness at a time. Isn't that an important reason to take the time and thought to pay it forward?

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

How Strong Are You?

So many of us think we don't have the strength to do difficult things. But we really do. We have all experienced difficult things in our lives. And we are still here to acknowlege it.

Don't underestimate your toughness. The very fact that you have survived this long is evidence of toughness. Things we seldom think about as our successes do attest to our ability to survive difficult times.

Maybe your difficulties are not high on the scale of hard to do as someone else's. But that doesn't prove you aren't tough. Just getting born isn't easy! And there are lots of hard times after that.

Consider some of the things you have been through and give yourself credit for having made it. You are a success! Begin to consider the successes in your life. Some of you have overcome childhood abuse. Some have accomplished academically. Some have overcome addition. Some have survived the loss of love, or of jobs, or of finances. Whatever hard times you've survived, you are a success.

So don't limit yourself by thinking that you can't do hard things. Experience hardships as training for successes in your future.

Have confidence in yourself. Set your mind to succeed.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."              Henry Ford

Check out this brief video.

Sunday, January 13, 2019


I find it very frustrating when there is a problem that I have no control over. And there are plenty of those these days.

How about you? Do you get frustrated:

Maybe this will help.

Wednesday, January 9, 2019

Change YOUR World

Change your wour world by changing your mind. Take charge of what your brain is telling you and creating your behavior. Make your life better by changing what you think. Put yourself in the driver seat. And as your life changes you influence the lives of others differently. So chaning your world begins to change the rest of the world.

Try this:

Become the person you want to be by making changes in your thinking.

Sunday, January 6, 2019

Make A Better World

 This year, 2019, let's work every day to heal the world. When we each do one act of kindness each day we can each make the world better for 365 people. Spread the kindness.

Wednesday, January 2, 2019

How Have You Begun?

It is the beginning of another year. 2019 is two days old. How have you begun to make the world a better place?

We are starting the new year by putting things in order. The holidays left the house in a bit of disarray. So we are clearing some clutter, paying bills, sorting paperwork, making to-do lists. I always transfer birthday and anniversary dates from the old calendar to the new. And I begin a file of financial stuff in preparation for time to do our taxes.

It just feels good to have some order restored to my life. There is so much of life that we have no control over that having things at home organized helps relieve some anxiety. So this is a way to make my own world a little better place to be.

The process can be a bit overwhelming if I'm not careful. So I start an overall to-do list, putting everything down on the list that I need and want to do. For me, it  helps to have it contained on a list so I'm not concerned about forgetting something. I can just keep adding to the list as I mark things off. That gets my year started sanely for me.

Other people find that listing all that is overwhelming and they tell themselves they can never do it all. I give myself permission to take things of the list if I decide they are not important and I don't want to do them. And I also break down large tasks into little lists of steps to finish them. Making that little list is a step toward finishing the task. I often do things in "baby steps" so that I'm not overwhelmed.

I don't do New Year's Resolutions. I've learned that it is too difficult to know what I will or won't be able to do for a year. But if I focus on those baby steps I get much more accomplished. In fact, I do some things in "inchworm mode." That's because I'm physically unable to stand for very long. But it works if you have low stamina and need to rest frequently. Even an inchworm gets to where it wants to go.

This week I will wind up my project to collect donations for the American Indian elderly and then order the thermal underwear they said they need. Last week we finished wrapping the new warm winter hats we collected for the unsheltered homeless.

Since I'm no longer physically able to do volunteer work, I coordinate projects to raise money for causes. What would you like to do for others? Now is the time to consider it and to reach out to change the world for someone else.

Do me a favor. Please, tell me what you will do this month to make the world a better place for yourself or someone else. If you have been following my blog, let me know if and how my blog has affected you.