Sunday, September 1, 2019

Are You a Worrier?


What do you worry about? There are always things you could worry about. Some folks are experts at creating worries, of things to fear. And it can become a habit to worry all the time.

However, it is exhausting. Why not let go of the things your can't change and change the things you can. How do you know the difference?

Most worries are self-made. We worry about what "might" happen, about the "what-if's" we create in our mind. What if people don't like me. What if I'm not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, etc.?

These thoughts can keep you from doing or being who you are, the real you. Some spend so much energy worrying that they make choices based on the "what-if's". If you are one of these folks you won't be your real self, or even know your real self.

Your inner critic can keep you from trying new things. And when that is the case you can end up with regrets that take over your life. When you function with accumulated regret you end up with all your gifts inside.

Everyone has gifts, or talents, things that you could do well. But that inner critic can convince you that you aren't good enough, you aren't deserving, you will fail if you try. And if you fail, you give greater weight to the belief that you can never succeed. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Listen to your self-talk. What does your inner critic tell you that gets in the way of being your most alive and actualized self? What is your relationship with worry? What might you regret later that you chose not to do because of focusing on the what-ifs?

Confront the what-ifs. Explore them. What if people don't like you? What could you do about that? What's the worst thing that could happen if they didn't like you? How would you handle that? How important is it that people like you in this situation? This is not constructive worrying.

Constructive worrying is only when it is within our control and empowers us to act. For instance, "I worry that I won't have enough money to pay for the rent.." This is within your control. You can do without something else to pay the rent. Or you can arrange with the landlord to pay half now and half later. Or you can move to something cheaper. While you may not like those choices, you at least have choices.

On the other hand, if you are worried that your landlord won't like you, no matter when you pay, there is really no way to change someone else's preferences. Can you see the difference? 

What are the "what if's" that hold you back from being your best, realistic self?

>What if I'm not good enough?
>What if I'm not ready?
>What if I am not attractive?
>What if I don't know what to say/do?

Can you turn those worries into more useful concerns? Can you just wonder instead of worry? "I wonder if I'm good enough?" Then explore what is needed for you to be good enough and realistically examine what you can do to be "good enough."

https://www.yocom/watch?v=d-diB65scQUutube.



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