All Means All

                                                         Image by Barbara Bonanno from Pixabay 

We seem to have a habit of saying things that we don't actually believe. We may think we do. But we don't.

For instance, our Constitution of the United States says, "All men are created equal." So did the founding fathers really believe that? If they did, they must have left out the qualifier. If they believed all men were created equal, how did they reconcile slavery, poverty of some while the wealthy were supported? Did they mean that all men are created equal if they are white, wealthy, and empowered?

That's not what they said. So what did they mean? Did they mean that every living man deserved the same privilege and power? If that is what they meant, why didn't they create a government that worked toward that end? 

And I won't even go to the point that only men were considered deserving of privilege. At that period of time women were legally chattel, the property of their father or husband. 

So, over time did the powers that be evolve to be more focused on making all people have the same privileges from birth? Well, let's see. How about the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States? We pledge to a country with "Liberty and Freedom for All". 

Seen a lot of that over the years. That was in June of 1942. The military was still segregated. In fact most of the country was segregated. I was born in 1942, and eight years later I couldn't invite a black friend from my class to a swimming party because blacks weren't allowed to use the pool. When I was 13 we traveled to Florida and discovered that drinking fountains were designated for blacks and whites. I'd never heard of such a thing. I thought the country was changing.

And during the WWII our government rounded up Japanese American citizens and held them in camps because of their ancestry. 

The South continued segregation in schools for decades after that. And in cities, people of Jewish descent are still assaulted, their homes and schools and temples vandalized to this day. Oh, and don't forget homesexual citizens who have been targeted by homophobic brutes who assault, torture, kill people they believe to be homosexual. Their houses get vandalized, even burned down. And wasn't it only last year that several black churches were burned down?

So, let's get this strait, when someone replies to "Black Lives Matter" or "Blue Lives Matter" or any of the other responses like that, with "All Lives Matter." What do you mean? All lives can't matter when some don't. 

All means all.

I don't usually come anywhere near a political post on my blog. My goal is to help folks make the world a better place. So this is not political in the sense of party politics. This is about actually making the world a better place. The world won't change unless we change.

                                            Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

Who Will You Remember?

On Memorial Day we remember and honor those who have fought for our country in wars around the world, all the wars. And there are many. Seems like every generation has had its war.

This generation is no different. Not only are there the long wars in the middle east, but there is also the war against a pandemic, Covid 19.

As we remember those who fought in all the wars in other countries, let's not forget those who are fighting the pandemic here in the U.S. You know, this is the first war that has raged on our land since the Civil War in the 1800's,

I had relatives in both World War I and II, as well as Korea. And I know that during both World Wars the people left at home struggled to get by, working to provide for supplying the military. They did without certain foods and  products, many things were rationed. Women went to work in factories making amunition and bombers and other things required in large numbers for the war effort.

Children grew up without fathers at home for many years of their childhood, some fathers never returned. Men were lost in every war and continue to be lost today in far off countries to come home in body bags, in coffins draped with the U.S. Flag. In current wars, women are also serving on the front lines. Sometimes they don't return, either.

Women have served in most wars, but seldom were they fighting on the front lines. Some were nurses, medics, support workers. Eventually a few were allowed to fly. Of course, now they are able to serve in any position they are assigned.

With the war against the pandemic, at least in the U.S., most of us serve by staying home, wearing masks, and observing physical distancing. Men and women are called on to serve this way. However, there are essential workers who are on the front lines defending us. These front line fighters deserve to be honored as well. Many of them lose their lives to the virus, the enemy.

So this weekend, let us remember everyone who fights for our country, past and present, and honor all those who have died in service.

 Image by Keturah Moller

Accentuate The Positive

Staying positive isn't the easiest thing to do these days. But it is SO important. Your health and wellness and that of those around you are dependent on positivity. Negative thinking brings us down and actually lowers our immune system. So we need to be more positive today than ever.

The thoughts/ideas in this post are taken and/or inspired by an article by Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D., 6 Ways to Become More Positive Today. Perspective is destiny. Here's how to improve yours. Posted Sept. 24, 2014;

He quotes Lao Tzu: "Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny."

In each of us are a set of message that play over in our minds. These may be words you heard as a child in your home growing up. Or they may be things you were told in school by bullies or negative teachers. Wherever they came from, they have taken over your thoughts, and like Lao Tzu cautions, they effect your destiny.

Too many of us have negative self-talk created from those messages. And they can create a negativity that creates a dark ripple that moves throughout your life. And you can only see the negative in everything. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy that creates difficulty after difficulty and fuels the negativity.  "Many studies confirm the correlation between positive thinking and success."

Here are some ways to interrupt the negativity and replace it with positive thinking.

1.  Practice Gratitude-One of the quickest ways to shift your focus away from negativity, judgment, and disappointment is to list the things in your life for which you are grateful.  Practicing gratefulness can cause almost an immediate shift in your perspective. Keeping a daily gratitude journal, even digitally can help you keep your life's blessing in front of you. "Find a gratitude partner, someone who can support you in your journey to positive thinking. Each day, text, email, or tell each other 3 things for which you are grateful
2. Two Steps Forward-The shifting of your thoughts takes time. So be patient with yourself, and begin by just observing your thoughts. See if you can catch yourself judging other, focusing on failures, complaining, criticizing yourself or your body. When you observe thes thoughts, take a moment to counter each negative thought with two positive observations or gratitudes.
3. Positive Posture-The mind and body are highly connected-each has an impact on the other. If moving your mind into a more positive perspective is a struggle, try mvoing your body there first. Stand up straighter, shoulders back, chin help high, stretch your arms out as wide as they will go. "Feel powerfu. Feel positive. Carry yourself with positive posture encourages your mind to feel more positive as well." 
4. Smile-This also can trick your mind into being more positive. Simply smiling, even if there isn't necessarily anything to smile about, can instantly change the way you feel internally. You will be surprised at how your mind reacts. Practice smiling at a co-worker or stranger. They might smile back. You've just help someone else feel more positive.
5. Ditch the Crabs-Surround yourself with positive people. It is easier to maintain a positive perspective if you are constantly pulled down by the negativity of others. If you find yourself caught in a negative conversation, gracefully try to change the subject to something more positive. If you find yourself surrounded by negative people, it may be time to change your circle of friends to find mor uplifting individuals.
6. Do Something Kind-Rather than get submerged in your own misfortune and forget about the people around you, step outside your regular routine to help someone else. "This can provide an amazing perspective and fill you with positivity." Do random acts of kindness. 

Life isn't always easy. Sometimes it gets really hard. "But it is our own perspective that ultimately determines if we will druge through life puckered and sour, or skip along with a glass of sweet lemonade."

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

About the Author

Gregory L. Jantz, Ph.D., founded The Center for Counseling and Health Resources in Edmonds, Washington.

Online:

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Who's Your Mother?

                                                          Image by fancycrave1 from Pixabay 

Mother's Day this year is probably different for you this year because of physical distancing. It makes it hard to be with your mother to celebrate.

Who do you celebrate on Mother's Day? Your birth mother? A foster mother? An adoptive mother? A grandmother? A daughter that gave you grandchildren? A granddaughter that gave you great-grandchildren? An aunt that raised you? All mothers everywhere?

I hope you take some time to think about what it means to be a mother, about someone who mothers. It is more than giving birth. I'm in awe of mothers today that are sheltering at home with kids who may not understand why they can't go anywhere, with kids that have to be taught via computer videos to finish their school year, of kids that are getting a bit stir crazy. Those mothers really deserve a special day.

The tasks, worries, feelings, and experiences of mothers are complex and multitudinous. Many mothers have jobs and homes and families to manage. And no matter how old their children become, they never really stop worrying about them.

So, here's to mothers this Mother's Day. Give thanks for those who mothered you.

Image by Đại Trịnh Ngọc from Pixabay 

Have You Laughed Today?

Laughter: The Best Medicine

Laughter reduces pain, increases job performance, connects people emotionally, and improves the flow of oxygen to the heart and brain.

By Hara Estroff Marano, published April 5, 2005 - last reviewed on June 9, 2016

Laughter, it's said, is the best medicine. And there's lots of evidence that laughter does lots of good things for us.

It reduces pain and allows us to tolerate discomfort.

It reduces blood sugar levels, increasing glucose tolerance in diabetics and nondiabetics alike.

It improves your job performance, especially if your work depends on creativity and solving complex problems. Its role in intimate relationships is vastly underestimated and it really is the glue of good marriages. It synchronizes the brains of speaker and listener so that they are emotionally attuned.

Laughter establishes -- or restores -- a positive emotional climate and a sense of connection between two people, In fact, some researchers believe that the major function of laughter is to bring people together. And all the health benefits of laughter may simply result from the social support that laughter stimulates.

Now comes hard new evidence that laughter helps your blood vessels function better. It acts on the inner lining of blood vessels, called the endothelium, causing vessels to relax and expand, increasing blood flow. In other words, it's good for your heart and brain, two organs that require the steady flow of oxygen carried in the blood.

At this year's meeting of the American College of Cardiology, Michael Miller, M.D., of the University of Maryland reported that in a study of 20 healthy people, provoking laughter did as much good for their arteries as aerobic activity. He doesn't recommend that you laugh and not exercise. But he does advise that you try to laugh on a regular basis. The endothelium, he explains, regulates blood flow and adjusts the propensity of blood to coagulate and clot. In addition, it secretes assorted chemicals in response to wounds, infection or irritation. It also plays an important role in the development of cardiovascular disease.

"The endothelium is the first line in the development of atherosclerosis, or hardening of the arteries," said Dr. Miller. "So given the results of our study, it is conceivable that laughing may be important to maintain a healthy endothelium. And reduce the risk of cardiovascular disease."

At the very least, he adds, "laughter offsets the impact of mental stress, which is harmful to the endothelium."

The researcher can't say for sure exactly how laughter delivers its heart benefit. It could come from the vigorous movement of the diaphragm muscles as you chuckle or guffaw. Alternatively, or additionally, laughter might trigger the release in the brain of such hormones as endorphins that have an effect on arteries.

It's also possible that laughter boosts levels of nitric oxide in artery walls. Nitric oxide is known to play a role in the dilation of the endothelium. "Perhaps mental stress leads to a breakdown in nitric oxide or inhibits a stimulus to produce nitric oxide that results in vasoconstriction."

Dr. Miller offers a simple prescription that won't bankrupt you and could save your life. "Thirty minutes of exercise three times a week, and 15 minutes of laughter on a daily basis is probably good for the vascular system," he says.

Psychology Today

If you haven't laughed lately, watch this: https://video.search.yahoo.com/yhs/search?fr=yhs-pty-pty_email&hsimp=yhs-pty_email&hspart=pty&p=contagious+laughter#id=3&vid=6babd88a71193d514edfdc40d9942773&action=view

Here's a video about the importance of laughter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2qM1I-JCEQ&t=197s

Take good care of yourself, laugh!