All Means All

                                                         Image by Barbara Bonanno from Pixabay 

We seem to have a habit of saying things that we don't actually believe. We may think we do. But we don't.

For instance, our Constitution of the United States says, "All men are created equal." So did the founding fathers really believe that? If they did, they must have left out the qualifier. If they believed all men were created equal, how did they reconcile slavery, poverty of some while the wealthy were supported? Did they mean that all men are created equal if they are white, wealthy, and empowered?

That's not what they said. So what did they mean? Did they mean that every living man deserved the same privilege and power? If that is what they meant, why didn't they create a government that worked toward that end? 

And I won't even go to the point that only men were considered deserving of privilege. At that period of time women were legally chattel, the property of their father or husband. 

So, over time did the powers that be evolve to be more focused on making all people have the same privileges from birth? Well, let's see. How about the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States? We pledge to a country with "Liberty and Freedom for All". 

Seen a lot of that over the years. That was in June of 1942. The military was still segregated. In fact most of the country was segregated. I was born in 1942, and eight years later I couldn't invite a black friend from my class to a swimming party because blacks weren't allowed to use the pool. When I was 13 we traveled to Florida and discovered that drinking fountains were designated for blacks and whites. I'd never heard of such a thing. I thought the country was changing.

And during the WWII our government rounded up Japanese American citizens and held them in camps because of their ancestry. 

The South continued segregation in schools for decades after that. And in cities, people of Jewish descent are still assaulted, their homes and schools and temples vandalized to this day. Oh, and don't forget homesexual citizens who have been targeted by homophobic brutes who assault, torture, kill people they believe to be homosexual. Their houses get vandalized, even burned down. And wasn't it only last year that several black churches were burned down?

So, let's get this strait, when someone replies to "Black Lives Matter" or "Blue Lives Matter" or any of the other responses like that, with "All Lives Matter." What do you mean? All lives can't matter when some don't. 

All means all.

I don't usually come anywhere near a political post on my blog. My goal is to help folks make the world a better place. So this is not political in the sense of party politics. This is about actually making the world a better place. The world won't change unless we change.

                                            Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay 

I've Got to Be Virtuous to Be Happy? Really?

Good grief, you mean I have to be virtuous to be happy? How do I do that? A saint I ain't!

Adam Smith said that virtue is multifaceted, the big three being prudence, justice, and beneficence. These make us more lovable, respected and admired by those around us, traits that make us loved.

These are not terms we hear a lot about usually. Other than "justice", when was the last time you heard the terms "prudence" or "beneficence"? But remember, Smith was writing in the seventeen hundreds. Let's look at what those terms might mean today.

PRUDENCE
Prudence means taking care of yourself. To be prudent means to not act recklessly. It also covers everything in your personal life, taking care of your health, money, reputation. There are plenty of resources to learn how to take care of your health and money. But reputation isn't as well explored. A prudent person is sincere and honest, doesn't volunteer everything he/she knows, is reserved and cautious in their speech and action, doesn't stick their opinion into every conversation, is a good friend and avoids melodrama in relationships, is a faithful friend, chooses friends who are sober, modest, discrete, well-behaved. I imagine the prudent person doesn't put their life on social media without careful thought of what they share. They are genuine. They say little and do much. They have a certain dignity.

JUSTICE
For Smith the trait of justice refers to not harming or hurting others. It is a negative virtue in that it is the things you don't do - don't steal, don't murder, don't lie, don't cheat, don't abuse others, don't hurt other's feelings. It is the rule of fair play in life. Don't take advantage of others to benefit yourself. Pay your debts. Keep your promises. All of that is personal justice. The way we interact in the world is by following the rules of justice.

BENEFICENCE
Beneficence is more than being fair. Beneficence means doing good. Not being bad is pretty straightforward. But doing good has no black and white rules. Smith says gratitude is one of the virtues that make up beneficence. Others include friendship, humanity, hospitality, generosity, charity.
When we see a need and want to meet it, how much is enough? What is being good when what we do may not really benefit someone as much as something else might? Should I give them money? What if spending time with them or offering information/advice would be more helpful? How do we know?Do you give to everyone who asks?

It seems to me that prudence is required to determine boundaries of beneficence. If I recklessly give to everyone and every cause and don't take care of my own financial needs, it is no longer healthy. Yet we must consider justice when we look at giving as a way to look good to the world rather than to help those in need. When we do that we are taking advantage of those in need to boost our selfish need for admiration.

NOT A SAINT?
While we can't expect ourselves to be perfectly virtuous, but working toward that goal is the best way to being "lovely." And many of us want to do more that to be wise and virtuous. We want to make the world a better place. That is the premise of my blogs, that we want to make a positive difference in the world.

Next post we will look at how Russ Roberts, author of How Adam Smith Can Change Your Life, suggests we do that.

Tell Me About It!

The first seven steps of the strategy for curbing hate have been explored in the previous posts. The final three may not be as simple. Let's see if we can make our way through them.

The eighth step is to avoid being/feeling trapped. It is when we are trapped or powerless and our fear is highest that we easily slip into hating that which has you trapped. Maybe you feel trapped in a relationship, a job, a situation, a conflict. In order to avoid this feeling you'll need to use all of the previous steps, particularly communication and negotiation. You may feel trapped in a job, for instance, start hating to go to work, hating your boss, or hating the organization. To change that you might start by letting people know in a constructive way what specifically you are unhappy with. If possible negotiate some changes. If there really is nothing you can do to change things you might start exploring opportunities elsewhere. Or you might try to put things in a different perspective by viewing your frustrations as creative challenges that can lead to a new level of personal growth.

I was in a job once that I came to hate. I was frustrated that I was not being given the kind of work experiences that I had been promised and there was little chance that it would ever be resolved. There was no chance for me to use the job to get the experience I needed to advance my career. The reason I'd taken that job was no longer there. So I set a different goal. I decided I'd work that job until I had saved three month's worth of living expenses and I would quit. While I was working toward that goal I would look for other employment that would benefit my career. I no longer dreaded going to work because I no longer felt trapped in a dead-end job.

The ninth step is to immerse yourself in a positive way with the source of your hate. Working together on a mutually beneficial goal builds trust and erodes the divisions we create between Us and Them. Find ways to create opportunities to know more positive qualities of the source of your hate. Create an environment free as possible of prejudice, bigotry, hatred, abuse, and violence. Not easy in our present contentious environment. But seek out positives about that which is hated. Balance the negative news with positive examples.

We are just now beginning to see stories on the news and on the internet about various faith communities working for the good of those of other faiths. We hear about police departments getting to know the citizens of their communities and neighborhoods by doing positive activities. We watch various segments of the community reaching out to other segments to solve mutual problems. When we create balance in what we experience we can be less and less likely to see others in stereotypical ways.

And finally, seek justice and not revenge. Now here's the hard part. Most people just want to "get even." The reality is, however, that seeking revenge puts you farther behind in the whole situation. Vengeful hatred anchors you in the past. Where hate dominates, grievances are never forgotten. The cycle of revenge and retaliation goes on and on, sometimes for centuries. No one wins!

Where do you start to break the cycle? Apologizing is a step in the right direction. It takes a big person to apologize. Many seem to find it impossible. In long-standing cycles of revenge and retaliation, individual leaders need to offer specific, heartfelt apologies as a beginning toward reconciling and developing mutual empathy. Recently Pope Francis apologized to victims of sexual abuse by clerics and is cooperating in bringing religious leaders to court. The only path to peace in the Middle East is through reconciliation. Both sides must come together, acknowledge the specific wrongdoings and mistakes to the other, and negotiate compromises to reconcile their differences.

But the apology must be perceived as sincere, which isn't easy in a suspicious and cynical atmosphere. Forgiveness does not come easily. However, there is no peace without moving on to justice through forgiveness. The conviction in the courts of those guilty of crime helps bring a fresh start to healing of warring or disputing factions.However, lingering prejudice and hated make these kinds of problems intractable. Moving through the steps of this strategy to curb hate with constant focus on the common humanity and unique individuality of adversaries and a sincere attempt to understand their positons and feelings, is far more likely to lead to genuine solutions. Protest signs that say "No Justice, No Peace" are right. But the justice must come through forgiveness and empathy on both sides.

Peace comes at a price. We often think the price is war. But that isn't so. The price is giving up hatred and working for common goals. War has yet to result in true peace with justice.

So, what do you think? Can we reduce hate? Is peace possible? Tell me about it.

What examples of hate have you seen recently? What was the harm?

What do you find hardest to forgive? What apology would you most want to hear?

Tell me about it!

Disruption

So, how do we disrupt the old way of the world of separation? The best way to disrupt it at its foundation is giving people the experience of non-separation. This means each time we act with true "generosity, forgiveness, attention, truth or unconditional acceptance" (1) we offer the experience of connection and compassion.

This violates the old beliefs that "Everyone is out for themselves." It affirm the desire to give, create, love and play. It makes it o.k. for others to break through those old beliefs. While these acts can't make someone give up their old beliefs, it does invite others to at least consider that those beliefs may not be totally true. The most we can do isopen the door to a different perspective on the world.

We live in a time of self-rejection. How often do we hear someone declare that they, or someone they know, are their own worst critic. Your unconditional acceptance of others shows them a new possibility. This is a transformative power that we all have. This is an important way we can change the world. Don't underestimate the power of compassionate acts.

A way to multiply this power is to stand by those who "do the right thing." Just be silent witness to justice and compassion on the part of others. It is easier to act justly if you have the support of others. This is aother way we disrupt separation.

Consider, also, how the perspective of connectivity spreads compassion. Because we are all connected, everything we do influences everyone and everything else. So your generosity, your non-judgemental acceptance of others has a ripple effect. The "pay it forward" effect is evidence of this. Someone pays for the coffee of the car behind them in the drive-thru and others then do the same.

You smile at a stranger and she smiles back. She's then more likely to smile at someone else, who then also smiles. You forgive someone for some hurt and your healing advances - as does theirs. When one part of the web is mended, the entire web is stronger.

Yes, there will be times when someone is so stuck in the old ways of separation that they will reject your acts of compassion. While that is sad, it need not effect you. Don't let it influence you to fall back into old ways yourself.

And, of course, it begins with having love and compassion for yourself. For you cannot give away what you don't have. Nurture your inner being as you live in the more beautiful world.

Today's Daily Dozen To-do List:

• Make a list of ten things you like about yourself.
• Give something to someone - a smile, a hug, a kind word, a poem, a card, etc.
• Spend time with someone being creative - paint, do needlework, sing, dance, problem-solve.
• Tell someone you love them, but only if you mean it., Feel the love in your heart.
• Be silly with someone! Laugh. Play like children. Play with children.
• Tell a family member something you like/appreciate about them.
• Tell a friend something you like/appreciate about them.
• Tell an acquaintance something you like/appreciate about them.
• Make a list of things in your life that are evidence of abundance.
• Spend time with someone who is giving and accepting of others. Practice being like them.
• Think of someone who may have hurt you. Focus on forgiving them in order to heal your wound. Be love.
• Think of something you feel bad about having done to someone else. Focus on forgiving yourself with unconditional acceptance. Be love.

Justice through Love

This past Saturday I had the privilege to hear Dr. Lawrence Carter speak at the Christian Theological Seminary Commencement Service in Indianapolis, IN. Dr. Carter is Dean of the Martin Luther King, Jr. International Chapel at Morehouse College and the  Honorary Doctor of Divinity, awarded Saturday, for his impact in helping train leaders for the African American Church.

His topic was "Where the Moral Arc Bends" and he spoke on justice through love. I was thrilled to hear someone at his level of influence espouse the same principles I've been reading and writing about. It is people like Dr. Carter who are making possible the more beautiful world we believe is possible.

He reminded us that "Darkness cannot be overcome by darkness. . . and Hate cannot be overcome by hate." Yes, only light can overcome darkness and only love can overcome hate. If we are to change this culture of hate and violence, we must love those who hate.

Certainly not always easy,  it is what Nelson Mandela used to prevent a blood bath in Africa with a program of reconciliation and forgiveness. It is what the family of the victims of the Charleston, S.C.,church shooting did with  Dylan  Roof, the man who murdered their loved ones. When we respond to hate and violence with more hate and violence, no healing can occur. It is what causes war and more bloodshed.

This doesn't mean that there should be no consequences to the haters, only that justice must be gentle, measured out with love. Harsh punishments create more hurt, more anger, more pain, more violence. Working in prisons all those years certainly convinced me of that. Too many of the men came out of prison with more anger and hate than before they went in.

Dr. Carter works diligently to create equality and respect for all living things. There can be no justice, no peace, when one group of people is valued less than another, when the needs of some are ignored or withheld.

And I loved it when he stated that "anyone who disrespects the earth also disrespects all women." Women are more closely connected to earth, to our Mother Earth. And people who disrespect Mother Earth are destroyers of life itself.

Yes, it was gratifying to hear someone with Dr. Carter's influence to promote peace and justice through gentleness and love.

Today's Daily Dozen To-do List:

• Keep your neighborhood looking its best by promoting a regular neighborhood cleanup day for homeowners.
• To reduce air polution carpool, take public transportation, bike, or walk.
• Use a clothesline to dry your clothes instead of a dryer.
• Make sure your car has a tune-up regularly. Unchecked cars can waste fuel and pollute the environment.
• Use recycled paper. And recycle the paper used in your household.
• Try not to buy foam packing materials or aerosol products.
• Make birdhouses and feeders or other wildlife feeding stations. These could even be sold as a fundraiser.
• Support recycling programs in your school, business, or neighborhood. Analyze the ones already in place and suggest improvementsj.
• Help maintain park, bicycle, and recreation trails. And never litter.
• Clean up the yard of a neighbor who is unable to do that task, who is ill, has had surgery recently, or has had a family emergency,
• Clean up litter on a stretch of road near you. 
• Donate to an organization that supports a healthy environment.