Have you ever thought about how many decisions you make in a day? It could be hundreds! Most, however, are incidental rather than life challenging. We decide to get out of bed in the morning. You might say, "I really don't have a choice. I have to go to work!" But it is a choice, one you decided on long ago and continue to make it automatically, without thinking much about it.
And through the day nearly everything you do is the result of a choice you make, one that is new or one that is habitual. Think about each activity you do through a day. And then consider how it really was a choice.
One of the classes I taught as a mental health counselor in the state corrections facilities for adult males. Most inmates had no insight into what decisions got them into prison. They lived life rather reactively, thinking they didn't have a choice other than the one they made to cause harm to someone. So learning what decision making is about and how to claim your personal power to make decisions that make their lives better was enlightening.
One doesn't have to be a criminal to make bad choices. We don't even have to be in trouble. Most of us aren't aware that WE made decisions at all. Like those who don't consider getting up in the morning as a real choice, for instance, might live reactively without making healthy choices.
So, what is involved in making good choices? I found a website that gives an outline similar to what I used with inmated. While it is mainly for those making life-changing decisions, it works for all kinds of decisions. https://blink.ucsd.edu/finance/accountability/ethics/path.html
Let's look at some examples:
Stop and Think. The more important the decision the more important this step becomes. Eliminate impulsive behavior. Making rash choices can lead us astray very quickly. Consider shopping for big ticket items without thinking about it first. Lots of mistakes can be avoided by simply taking time to consider the choices and determining which is best for you.
Consider Your Goals. Nearly any choice can lead you either toward your goals or away from them. What leads to your immediate gratification may lessen your ability to reach more long term goals. Buy that huge flat screen t.v. now will make it harder to achieve saving for the trip to the beach you've promised your family. Marrying really young could prevent your starting the career that will make you feel confident and provide income to raise a family. You get the idea, right?
Determine Facts. Determine if you have enough facts to make an intelligent choice. Are the sources of your information reliable and truly informed. Ask people who have experience, pursue information in books, on the internet, other media. Be sure these are reliable sources.
Develop Options. I always advise people to only make a decision when you've thought of an odd number of choices. If you have two options, look for a third or more. Never settle for an even number of choices. If it is an especially important decision, talk to someone who can help you identify more options.
Consider the Consequences. This is probably the biggest mistake the inmates made in their lives. Will the choice fit your values? Eliminate any consequences that will be unethical. Will someone be harmed by your choice? Will you feel good about your decision in the future and you look back on your life. If you buy the big flatscreen t.v. will you end up with not enough money for your child's school supplies? Identify who might be affected by your choice and how the consequences could affect them.
Choose. Make a decision. If the decision still doesn't seem clear, talk to people whose judgement your respect. Or think of somone with strong character what they would do in your situation. Consider if you would be proud and comfortable with everyone found out about our decision. And, of course, treat others the way you want to be treated, the golden rule, and keep your promisses.
Monitor and modify. A wise person learns from their decisions. What were the effects of your choice? If they don't have the results your intended, or they cause more undesirable reslts, assess the situation and make new decisions. If need be you can change your direction to get you where you want to be.
Check out the website above and consider what would work best for you. If you are just learning to make better decisions you might want to write out your steps to your decision. Learn by doing!
Want to know more? Check out this TedTalk on YouTube:
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