9 WaysTo Be Kind & Heal the World

We can heal the world with one kindness at a time, so states David Friedman in his book We Can Be Kind, Healing Our World One Kindness at a Time.  Much of the content of this blog post is from his book. If you'd like more, get his book. I recommend it!

We already established in the last blog that in order to be kind to others we need to be kind to ourselves. That means you need to nurture yourself with positive thoughts, words, and deeds. We can't help someone else if we haven't taken care of ourselves. So be kind to you.

1. Do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed at time? We can be kind to ourselves then by practicing being in this second, focusing on your own body, on what is around you, on who is with you, on what you are doing right now. Take everything one day/hour/minute/second at a time.
2. When something happens you automatically think of as bad, stop and tell yourself that you don't know what this is for. Think about the fact that it is possible something good can come out of it eventually. Something good can come in ways you can't imagine. If you look for the good you are more likely to find the good. My grandmother always said there is good from everything if we look for it. And we know we are more likely to find what we are looking for
3. Do you awfulize when something doesn't go right, you tell yourself/others that nothing will fix the situation. When something goes wrong we are uncomfortable with the feelings and rather than go inside the discomfort we imagine the worse possible outcomes that might result. When this happens you can go inside yourself, stay with the dicomfort and know that no incident is hopless, that positive possibilities exist, and you will be O.K. no matter what happens
4. Feeling obligated, annoyed, or contentious in some circumstance? Consider those around you who may be feeling the same. Everyone in some way has the same struggles, you can feel kindly toward them. And when you can empathise with them you begain to feel less different and more a part of things.
5. We all experience problems, challenges that sometimes seem impossible to overcome. These time give us opportunities to reach out to others, to get out of ourselves, and to realize that together with others we can find solutions. We are all in this together and when we find that we are there for each other, that we aren't alone, we will weather whatever the future brings. Helping others also helps us. Be kind.
6. Do you sometimes run into people in your life who are supposed to be "the enemy" in your life or business? Try looking past what they are "supposed to be" and see that they are human just like you. Look deep into your heart and realize you don't really want to fight. And if they are like you, they probably don't want to fight either. Practice having thoughts of kindness toward them and strive to see what you both want instead. And work at making that happen.
7. When you are in a conflict, try to assume that everyone is doing what they are doing to make things right somehow. No matter how they are behaving try to see them as trying to make things right and notice how the tone changes, how emotions get calmer, and outcomes become more good for everyone.
8. Often we are in a situation where we have preconceived ideas about a person or group of persons. And sometimes the situations can be very problematic because we don't see the individual. We see our idea of what we think that person should be because of what we have seen, read, or experienced with another person like them. This is prejudice and leads to bigotry. Which creates conflicts inside us. We can be kind to ourselves in these situations by recognizing that each individual is different and stereotypes are based on surface observations. So if you have judgements about someone, look inside yourself for the same judgements about yourself. Often it is the parts of ourself that we don't like that create a negative opinion about others. Be kind to yourself about the things you don't like about yourself and practice kindness towards others. It will heal you both.
9. When you are in a confrontation or a difficult situation where you feel someone else is doing something to you, you may think they should change their behavior. Stop and ask yourself how you could be different, what could you do to create peace and serenity for yourself, no matter how hopeless the situation seems. It will be difficult. Sometimes it means not responding in kind, or perhaps remaining silent when you want to attack. But try it. Try to see the other's point of view. Consider giving in on a point that you've not wanted to give. Ask yourself what is most important. Don't retaliate. Be the peace you want to see in the world. Be kind to yourself. 

In my next post we will look at ways to be kind in the world. Often just becoming kind to yourself creates kindness in the world. But we will look at other ways.