Kindness Matters

Why be kind? Because kindness heals. It heals pain, your own and others. And there is so much pain in the world right now. We can make the world - and ourselves - better by being kind.

For me, the most meaningful statement in the book We Can Be Kind, by David Friedman, is the reminder that kindness is a choice. This gives us the personal power to change any situation by remembering to be kind, to ourselves and to others.

Even when I am in physical pain from my disability it is so easy to slip into unkind thoughts and behaviors. Doing this only makes my pain worse and can cause emotional pain in those to whom I am unkind. The best way to deal with my pain is to acknowlege it, experience it, and explore my feelings at the time. I can choose to calmly let go of the negative self-talk and the nastiness my words or behavior that surface.

You see, I blame myself for my pain. I'm fat. I've not taken good care of my body when I was younger. I push myself to do more than I should. Etc. None of that lessens the pain. And if I snap at someone else and spread pain to them, I feel bad about that too. So I'm learning to let go of the tension and let the pain move through and not pass it on to others.

The hard part for me is the challenge of seeing cruelty all around. And it is something I cannot control. When there is nothing I can do about a situation, what I can do is be kind. At first I thought that meant to be "nice" or "quiet" about someone's behavior. But another thing that is powerful about the power to chose is that you can choose HOW to be kind.

"Sometimes kindness is being nice: holding a door, telling someone theylook nice, giving a gift, being polite. Sometimes kindness is being tough: refusing to enable an addict, telling an overly dependent child they're on their own, not bailing someone out financially when they need to learn how to do it themselves. Sometimes kindness is telling the  thruth (when someone's hearing the truth would help them or the situation,) Sometimes kindness is not telling the truth (when the truth would only hurt someone and not do any good). In every circumstance, before you act, think to yourself,  "What would be the kindest thing I could do at this moment?" and do that." ... We Can Be Kind, by David Friedman

 Right now we need to be kind. And the great thing is that you and I CAN be kind.

Let's make the world a better place: Be Kind.