Who Are You?

Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay 

There is a lot of talk about personal identity. And I was pondering what that really means. Imagine you are entering a room full of people. Some are people you know and a few are people unknown to you. So one of your friends is speaking with one of the unknown people when your friend is asked who you are. What does your friend say?

And I imagined that for me it was clear to me that even your closest friend wouldn't be able to explain all of who you are. Each person that knows you would probably have different beliefs about who you are.

If a stranger walks up to you at a gathering and asks "Who are you?" What would you reply?

You might start by telling them your name. And even that might be different to others. Think of all the names that you have gone by. You have had nicknames. If you are a woman you may have taken your husband's name. And there are names for the various roles you have played in your life: Son or Daughter, Mother or Father, and all of the relationship names like that: uncle, aunt, cousin, gramdpa grandma, etc.

And, of course, none of them are all of who you are. Humans are very social in nature and have myriad roles. There are even diminutive names like Honey, Sweetie, etc. 

And interesting exercise I often used in groups was to list all the nicknames we have for men and women. We discover that most of the social names for women are for baby animals or other weak images. Whereas the men's social names are for more powerful or "hard" images. The labels spellings often are more vowels or soft letters for females and more hard consonants for male. Try it. Make a list.

So our identities are shaped by the language we use. And we even might have different perspective of who we are, one that no one else knows. What kind of self-talk goes on in your head? Do you have a positive image of yourself? Or do you think you are less than what others believe you to be.

So, who are you? Try exploring your identity. And if it isn't positive, make some changes in how you think about yourself, how you behave, how you feel. Our identity may not be obvious, so it might be a helpful thing to spend some time exploring all the things you are and want to be. 

Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

The name's the thing.

Well, I'm officially 74 now. And all this thinking about my birth and life story had me thinking about my name. I was named for my mother's mother, my grandmother, Lucinda Hutchinson Houston Whitt. I've always known and appreciated that. My grandmother Lucinda, or "Mama Lou" as I called her, was a wonderful woman. She was strong and had come through a tough life to become a lovely, caring, Christian woman. I've always admired her.

My mom named me Lucinda Lou because she wanted to call me "Cinda Lou." So I ended up with double "Lu"s. But I don't remember anyone but her calling me "Cinda." Almost everyone called me "Cindy" until my late thirties when I insisted on being called "Lucinda." My dad often called me "Pesky" and my brother had several unpleasant nicknames for me: "Fatty", "Lulu" [for the cartoon character], "Elsie the Borden Cow".

And yesterday I was wondering if my grandmother ever had nicknames. I don't remember many people calling her Lucinda. Of course, I was a kid and didn't hear her called much besides "Mom", Mama Lou, or Louie. So I went back to read an article my great-aunt wrote about her parents and childhood in the hills, which would be the story of my grandmother as well. She said my grandmother Lucinda had been called Louie by her family for most of her life.

That story of their childhood is fascinating in its detail. It described the lives of her parents growing up in the hills of Vinton County, Ohio in the 1800's, a hard-scrabble life indeed. And they had a large family to support through all of the difficulties of that life. I certainly come from sturdy stock.

There is still a lot for me to learn about my own parents' lives and my birth into their family, so I'll be digging out my mother's journals in the near future.

Stay tuned! In the meantime, think about your parents' and grandparents' stories and appreciate them as the foundation of your life. Share if you like. I know I'd be interested, so others probably would be as well.