Who Are You?

Image by TeroVesalainen from Pixabay 

There is a lot of talk about personal identity. And I was pondering what that really means. Imagine you are entering a room full of people. Some are people you know and a few are people unknown to you. So one of your friends is speaking with one of the unknown people when your friend is asked who you are. What does your friend say?

And I imagined that for me it was clear to me that even your closest friend wouldn't be able to explain all of who you are. Each person that knows you would probably have different beliefs about who you are.

If a stranger walks up to you at a gathering and asks "Who are you?" What would you reply?

You might start by telling them your name. And even that might be different to others. Think of all the names that you have gone by. You have had nicknames. If you are a woman you may have taken your husband's name. And there are names for the various roles you have played in your life: Son or Daughter, Mother or Father, and all of the relationship names like that: uncle, aunt, cousin, gramdpa grandma, etc.

And, of course, none of them are all of who you are. Humans are very social in nature and have myriad roles. There are even diminutive names like Honey, Sweetie, etc. 

And interesting exercise I often used in groups was to list all the nicknames we have for men and women. We discover that most of the social names for women are for baby animals or other weak images. Whereas the men's social names are for more powerful or "hard" images. The labels spellings often are more vowels or soft letters for females and more hard consonants for male. Try it. Make a list.

So our identities are shaped by the language we use. And we even might have different perspective of who we are, one that no one else knows. What kind of self-talk goes on in your head? Do you have a positive image of yourself? Or do you think you are less than what others believe you to be.

So, who are you? Try exploring your identity. And if it isn't positive, make some changes in how you think about yourself, how you behave, how you feel. Our identity may not be obvious, so it might be a helpful thing to spend some time exploring all the things you are and want to be. 

Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

What Is America?

So America is in the midst of change, in many ways. But what IS America at the core? Who are we?
Are we what other countries see? Are we the image of America that is in the media?

Someone told me "Trump is America." I objected strongly that even though many think he represents us, one person doesn't define America. We are more than any president and definitely more than this one.

But are we, and can we fix what we see is wrong? Will we? Will we come together as a nation and work for equality?

We have income inequality, racial inequality, gender inequality, education inequality. Yes. All of that. So is that what America is, inequality? That certainly is part of who we are.

And sometimes we let those inequalities divide us. Even though that is what we see the most of in the media, it isn't really what I experience day to day. The people I know and come in contact with are working for change to a more positive, more balanced, more equal country.

We aren't dividers. We come together to help in times of disaster and tragedy. I see people from all walks of life volunteering, donating, creating healing, building relationships across the inequities. This is the America that I know and believe in.

I believe that we will come together to shape a better, more compassionate, more dedicated government that cares about serving the people more than about party loyalty. I think that we will create political parties that learn to work together for the common good.

I know that won't happen quickly. Large ships don't make tight turns. And the Ship of State will turn slowly. But change is happening, all the time. We mustn't devalue the incremental changes that are happening at the grass roots level.

Just look at the marches on Washington. Look at how many people have been energized and motivated to run for office to make changes at every level, local, State, Federal.

More than ever Americans are waking up to the challenge of improving who we are and who we want to become.

What do you want to change and what will you do to help make that happen? Want to change how campaigns are funded? You might want to check out the video below.

What Do You Want?

Really. What do you really want that having it will make you happy?

Every day we are being told by way of advertisements what we SHOULD want. And, of course, there are people in our lives who also tell us what we should want, a better education, a better job, a bigger house, etc. Television and movies project images of people they think we should be like, what we should want. We are inundated by messages about what we should want.

But how many of us know what we really want? So few of us take time away from all the distractions to contemplate who we are and what we want.

Is that edge of anxiety you are experiencing a sign of dissatisfaction in your life? What area of your life are you least satisfied with? What is it lacking for you? No, not by someone else's standards. From your own inner senses, where is the most dissatisfaction? Is it from trying to live up to someone else's idea of what you SHOULD have or be? Is it from your bosses idea of who you must be to be successful in your job? Is it from not having all the things you see others have? What is missing that makes you feel good about you?

Where is the real you today? And what are your aspirations? Here are eleven aspirations or goals for many people as put forward in Colin Beavan's How to be Alive.

• Affiliation: to have satisfying relationships with family and friends
• Community feeling: to improve the world through activism or generosity
• Conformity: to fit in with other people
• Financial success: to be wealthy and materially successful
• Hedonism: to experience much sensual pleasure
• Image: to look attractive in terms of body and clothing
• Physical health: to feel healthy and free of illness
• Popularity: to be famous, well-known, and admired
• Safety: to ensure bodily integrity and safety
• Self-acceptance: to feel competent and authentic
• Spirituality: to search for spiritual or religious understanding

Take some time in the next day or two to decide how much of these are YOUR goals, how much would you like to invest in achieving them. Beavan's suggest using a clock face with twelve hours marked on it and you indicating how many of those hours you would want to invest in each of these goals. Try it.

And share what you learn in the comments below.