No Joke! Seriously, Humor Will Make You Better, The World, Too!

Humor is an important tratit to make  ourselves and the world better. These days it can be difficult to maintain a sense of humor. But we must cultevate it for our own good and the good of the world around us.

Check out what Hope Speak had to say about it.:

The importance of sense of humor

BY HOPE SPEAK · DECEMBER 16, 2014

It is said that sense of humor is one of the most important human qualities. Humor is not only good for your health physically and emotionally, but it also reinforces your relationships with your family, your friends and your coworkers.

First of all, humor is good for your physical health. Some research shows that laughter can improve your resistance to diseases by declining the stress hormones and increasing infection-fighting antibodies in your body. Besides, laughter can ease the physical tension­ and help your muscles to relax. It is not exaggerated to say that laughter is the best medicine for your body.

Moreover, having a good sense of humor helps you to stay healthy emotionally. Humor helps you to release stress and to keep an optimistic attitude. When you feel anxious or sad, good laughter can lighten your mood. The positive feelings you get when laughing will increase energy for your brain and your body. Thus, you will be able to stay more focus and look at the problems in your life from less frightening perspectives. Life always brings challenges that make you feel overwhelmed. In those cases, a good laughter can help you to overcome all those obstacles and makes your life more enjoyable.

Laughter helps you to stay emotionally healthy. 

Last but not least, humor helps to strengthen your relationships. First, friendly appearance with a bright smile on your face and a good sense of humor allow you to make good first impression with other people. Also, humor communication boosts the emotional connection that will bring people closer together and increases happiness. In addition, humor is an effective cure for disagreements, angers and hurts. During the difficult time in your relationship, sharing a hearted laughter will be enough to bridge the gap and fill the crack.

In conclusion, sense of humor is truly important in human life. Laughter brings many benefits including good physical health, positive emotions and relationships with other people. One essential point is that you should always remember to keep your smile, your humor and your optimism even during the hardest time of your life.

Featured image source: http://humansareweird.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/smile.jpeg?w=1000&h=600&crop=1

Please and Thank You

Politeness. How does this help make you a better person and a better world?

Interesting that this virtue is part of being better. We Americans have a reputation of not being polite. I suppose it is because we ae so invested in being independent. We end up separated from others if we forget to be attentive to those around us. This separation can be why we aren't aware of the needs and desires of others, and therefore behave more selfishly, less patient, and without empathy.

Politeness is a behavior that can be chosen for different reasons, which is why many people are suspicious of polite behavior. Courteousness can be used to mask dislike, even hatred. Sometimes it is only a mask that people wear.

But for the better person it must be chosen because they truly care about other people and about how they are shown respect by politeness. Behavior that creates defensiveness only leads to greater separation and misunderstanding.

So, you can see how it can be a virtue of a good person, of a way to work through conflicting ideas between countries. And if you want to know how to be more polite, check out the video from YouTube below.

Perhaps the Least Popular Trait to Becoming a Better Person and Create a Better World

Sacrafice: to give up something that you want to keep, especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone. 

Most of us aren't good at sacrafice. Yet it is something we admire. We admire those military servicepersons for their sacrafice of time with their family, risk to their well-being, giving of their lives. We admire first responders for their sacrafices in the line of duty. 

However, many of us make small sacrafices for our loved ones. We give up time to earn a living to support family. We give up money for good causes. But is that truly a sacrafice? 

Yes, for some people their jobs are dangerous or really physically demanding. But do you do that to make your own life better? Or is it only for the support of someone else? And when you give money to charity, how much of a scrafice is it? 

When I was working, I did it to support myself and to feel fullfilled. Of course, at that point I was single and my kids were on their own. So only when I got too ill to work, and worked anyway, was it a sacrifice? But it was still a sacrifice for myself. I gave up something that I wanted to keep, my time and health, to get somtheing for myself. So not a true sacrifice. 

And, while I give a lot of my money to charity, I still live comfortably. I could always use that money for something else, but it isn't truly a sacrifice. I don't know that my ability/willingness to sacrifice has ever be tested. I'd like to think I would sacrifice for the people I care about, even for people I don't know personallly. But I don't think I've ever needed too.

This sounds like white privelige to me. Even though I am retired and on a fixed income, I have everything I actually need and a lot of what I want. What would I sacrifice for something I really care about - like saving our country's democracy or providing shelter for the homeless or making a significant difference in the lives of Native Americans living in poverty on reservations? 

Do I have the courage to make a significant difference in the world? I tell myself it isn't possible for me to do any of those things on my own. While that is true there must be things I can do with others to make them possible. So, I'm asking myself, "What would I need to do to make that difference?"

I'm not sure. But I imagine it is something outside my comfort zone or I would already be doing it. I have gone to rallys and protests, none of them really dangerous. I post my opinions on social media and sometimes people don't like what I post. And while that is emotionally uncomfortable, it isn't risky. I collect and send money to supply Native American elderly with things that make their winters easier and to provide school supplies to their children living in poverty. I make hats for the homeless and for newborns. I crochet sleeping mats for the unsheltered homeless from plastic grocery bags. I collect food and other items for the unsheltered homeless and deliver it to the folks who disperse it to people living on the streets or homeless camps. None of that is a sacrifice, really.

So, what do I need to do to make a significant difference in the world, to create a better world? What do you need to do? How are you making a difference? 

I believe that joining with others for a cause is powerful and can create a better world. What cause do/will you want to add your power to make a difference?

This Virtue Can Be A Tough One These Days!

Patience is often in short supply in this culture of instant this and hurry that. If something takes a minute longer than we want we get anxious and, often, angry. Waiting is an important part of life. Yet we try to rush through everything.Google defines patience like this: "the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset."  (Synonyms include tolerance, restraint, calmness, composure.) 

Road rage comes to mind. Americans are not a patient people, by and large. Fast food is never fast enough. We seem to think multi-tasking is the norm in everything from doing paper work on the train to driving while texting. Having patience can make your life not only calmer, but also better.

When we rush we miss the middle, we are hyper-focused on the next task that we miss the little things on the way. We forget to smile or speak kindly. Or we fail to notice what others are feeling. We fail to acknowlege others' needs. This is especially harmful in relationhips with people we care about. "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, look what I made!"  Mommy's busy, but she's not in the moment with her child.

So how does patience create a better world? Go back to the synonyms: tolerance, restraint, calmness, composure. All of these are necessary when dealing with issues between countries, corporations, and institutions. The lack of patience could put us into violence, war, and poor judgement.

How can we develop more patience? First, self-awareness. When you are becoming frustrated and impatient, ask yourself why. Is it based on some fear? Are you doing too many things at once? Are you feeling out of control? Or is it generalized anxiety? No matter what the reason, impatience may lead you the wrong way. Figuring out what makes you feel impatience will allow you to confront those thoughts and lower you impatience before it really begins. Recognize when you are being impatient and turn the situation around before it negatively affects you and those around you.

Second, recognize that time does not actually exist. It is a construct used to dictate our days. Remember this when stuck in traffic or running a few minutes behind in your daily routine. Ask yourself, "What's the worst that can happen?" And figure how you could manage that. A phonecall to say you will be a bit late can help you relax and move calmly through the day dispite the constructs of time that you can do nothing about.Third, if we are wholy focused on the end result and ignore the journey to it, we miss the moments between goals. The most important lessons are the ones we learn along the way. Look for the joy in between. Consider what you can learn from the situation that can make your life better in the future.

Fourth, when you feel the world as you know it is ending because of your lack of patience, ask yourself it the situation will really matter to you in ten years. When you are feeling frustrated or impatient, take time to remember to count your blessings why you are at it. Most things will either wait or are just not that important if you miss them.

Fifth, you have plenty of opportunities on any day to practice patience. I remember once telling someone I was praying for patience. They said that was dangerous because God would just send more times when you need it. But, really, practice using your techniques to handle impatience when, for instance, you are ina grocery store line with a slow cashier or someone in the line has lots of questions. Or practice when you are stuck in traffic and can't even move forward. Or when you are with people that tend to push your buttons the most, your loved ones. Practicing patience will make it easier to incorporate patience in all areas of your life.(from https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4373/5-Tips-for-Having-More-Patience.html by Maria Mooney)

More patience in the world could make immense difference.

A Vital Virtue That Makes You a Better Person Who Can Make the World Better

I can't think of anything more important to making our lives and our world better than developping the virtue of Empathy. These are times when coming together may be the most important thing we can do for a better world.

Giving and receiving empathy brings people together. It makes it possible to see things from different perspectives, which makes it more likely to find a peaceful solution to conflict. And we can learn empathy.

This TED talk from YouTube shows us how:

Develop empathy and begin to change the world.

Be a Better Person to Build a Better World

One of the virtues to be a better person, and therefore to build a better world, is to have  resilience. 

Resilience is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness, the ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

Resilience is not a trait that people either have or don't have. ... Resilience is about being adaptable. 

To learn 10 ways to build resilience in yourself, check out http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/road-resilience.aspx

For many, the greatest need is to build resilience at work. Here are some ways to do that:
Cherish social support and interaction. Good relationships with family and friends and others are vital. Being active in the wider community also helps.

1. Treat problems as a learning process. Develop the habit of using challenges as opportunities to acquire or master skills and build achievement.
2. Avoid making a drama out of a crisis. Stress and change are part of life. How we interpret and respond to events has a big impact of how stressful we find them.
3. Celebrate your successes. Take time at the end of each day to review what went well and congratulate yourself. This trains the mind to look for success rather than dwelling on negativity and ‘failure’.
4. Develop realistic life goals for guidance and a sense of purpose. Do something each day to move towards them. Again, small is beautiful; one small step amid the chaos of a busy day will help.
5. Take positive action. Doing something in the face of adversity brings a sense of control, even if it doesn’t remove the difficulty.
6. Nurture a positive view of yourself. Developing confidence in your ability to solve problems and trusting your instincts helps to build resiliency.
7. Keep a realistic perspective. Place challenging or painful events in the broader context of lifelong personal development.
8. Practice optimism. Nothing is either wholly good or bad. If we allow our thinking to dictate how we view something it will take over. Make your thinking work for your benefit, rather than letting it stymie you with doubt or by seeing only the bad side.   [https://www.barrywinbolt.com/resilience-at-work/]

Many of us develop resilience from living through tough situations. How resilient are you?

                                         A quick video about resilience  

My thanks to YouTube and Google Dictionary.

They Used to Call ThemYour Golden Years

Those are the years that you hope to enjoy when you are retired. But you don't hear them called that often these days. There are numerous reasons why.

Of course, most people realize their income will be reduced when they are no longer working for wages or salary. And if they are smart they have been setting aside money and investing for when that happens. Even then, however, it is unlikely that most are financially prepared for retirement.

And there are numerous folks who can help with the planning and managing finances for retirement, so I won't tackle that discussion.

There are other reasons why those years no longer seem so golden. With the loss of income there are certain adjustments you will make. Many people take on parttime jobs or start their own business to make ends meet. But it isn't just about how much money comes in.

The cost of being older is greater for most folks. Health care and various kinds of insurance can take up a lot of one's budget. Medication costs have sky rocketed as well as medical services. If you have a chronic disease it will be a constant challenge to keep up with treatment expenses.

Something we don't hear a lot about before you reach Elder status. Depression. It is very common in older people, with good reason. Aging involves a lot of losses. You lose friends when your life changes from employment to retirement. It is important to make and maintain new friends, even younger friends. And at some stage you begin losing family and friends to death. I isn't always easy to let go of people who have been important in your life.

You also lose abilities. As your body ages and you are less able to do all that you once did there can be a kind of grieving involved with letting go. In fact, letting go become an important skill to have as you age. Live can become very different - your social activities and interests may change, your environment may change if you move into different housing situations, your stamina eventually changes and you need to let go of expecting to do as much for as long as in the past.

Letting go of "things" is often an issue. If you need to downsize your living space there are things you will need to let go of because of space limitations, or because taking care of them has become too much

For many elderly people all of this can be overwhelming and leave them depressed. It isn't shameful to be depressed. But it is unhealthy to stay depressed. Don't hesitate to get professional help when you need it. And medication may be necessary because our brain chemistry changes as be age and the medication can remedy that.

But there are also other things to mitigate the losses. If you can't do the same things you did in the past, do new and different things. Learn a new skill or craft. Tap into your creativity. Take a class.

Make new friends. Find new interests and people who share that interest. If you can't be as physical as you were in the past, find ways to help othere people that don't involve the physical. One of the most important ways to defeat depression is to do things for other  people. Make phone calls to check in on people who may be lonely and/or housebound. Send cards, write letters, let others know they are thought of. Share your creativity, make things to give to others or to sell for charity. Volunteer in any way you are able.

You may sometimes feel depressed, but you don't have to stay depressed. No matter how  old you are there are ways you can contribute to family, friends, community. Don't believe it when you think you are too old to be useful. Sometimes there are people who only need a smile and you can make their day.

So prepare for your golden years financially, physically, mentally, and emotionally so you will have what you need when you get there.