Kindness Is Wired In Our Brain

Human nature is often portrayed as selfish and power hungry, but research by Dacher Keltner finds that we are hard-wired to be kind.

So, if our brains are wired to kindness,  why do we not see more of it in our environment? 

Actually, there is a lot of kindness that doesn't get observed because we aren't looking for it.

It isn't as sensational as unkind behavior, so it doesn't get in the headlines often. We have the power to change that by looking for kindness and acknowledging it.

And look for opportunities to practice kindness. Even the little kindnesses can change our perspective and that of others.

Keep looking for the good in people. Practice compassion, caring about others needs. Smile often. Speak kindly, especially with those who seem selfish or power hungry. Look for peace in them. They may be defended against negative influences and really need kindness. Give them some of yours. You won't run out unless your shut yourself off like they do.

It can be pretty scary to open up your heart to others when you first begin.

Just let your kindness begin with yourself. Be kind to yourself, to your friends and family. It gets easier with practice.

The Cost of Kindness

Why are there fewer kind people? Well, first of all, that is an invalid question. There are lots of kind people. In fact, I believe that most people are kind in many ways. However, because kindness has a cost, lots of us pass up the opportunities to be kind to others.

What costs us to be kind? Many acts of kindness cost time. In our rushing through busy, busy days we think we just don't have time. Many opportunities for kindness don't really cost much of our time. But they would interrupt our movement forward. Stopping to help someone can seem like we just don't have the time.

Yet, how long does it take really to hold the door for someone who isn't quite at the door and you have to hold it for just a few seconds longer than it would take for you to pass through the door? How long does it take to pick up litter on your way to or from someplace? If you are really a kind person you might build an extra five minutes into your schedule to make it easy for you to use a few minutes to help someone else.

So, acts of kindness might be inconvenient. They might take you out of your comfort zone, like saying "hello" to a homeless person, even if you don't donate a dollar. Like supporting an unpopular cause or intervene in a contentious rasist verbal barb.

Some acts of kindness might require physical effort, like volunteering on a project with Habitat for Humanity or carrying someone's parcels for them.You might help an elderly person with yard work or home improvements. You might need to step in to help someone get something done.

Some acts of kindness might cost you money, large or small amounts. You might give money to a vagrant or donate to a charity. It is more meaningful when you give generously rather than "small change"

So there is nice - and there is NICE. Small sacrifice or large sacrifice may be the opportunity that comes your way.

In spite of the sacrifice, helping others, being nice, has a big payoff in making the world a better place.

I'm Gonna Cop a Cattitude.

I've been writing about how to become a better person in order to create a better world. I suggest that getting a cat might do that! What can having a cat do for you?

Cats can help keep humor in your life. They can make you laugh or smile at their antics, especially kittens. Kittens are learning how to use their bodies to traverse their world. They can end up in the funniest places. Adult cats also try this, and their fails can be very funny. So get a cat to make you smile.

Cats can help you socially. They can make great ice breakers, especially if you don't have kids. Everyone love a good story about your cat or your kid. And those silly cat videos on the internet create bonds between people. When my kids were little, meeting new people was easier because we could talk about our kids. But when the kids are grown and gone, there are fewer cute stories. So get a cat.

Cats can develop your creativity. Cats find fun in all kinds of places. The love empty boxes, a laser pointer to chase, a catnip filled mouse or pocket, or anything tied to a string. Currently our cat's favorite toy is a plastic wand with a string on the end that was fastened to a jingle bell and four little feathers. The feathers are long gone, but she will chase that bell back and forth and in circles for longer than you want. I wear out after watching her do gymnastics chasing it for half an hour.
Cats help you play, which is the basis of creativity. So, get a cat.

Cats help us relax. Did you know that cuddling with your cat is actually good for yourhealth? HABRI, the Human Animal Bond Research initiative, has lots of research that indicates talking to or petting your pet has a positive, physical effect on people, lowers blood pressure, pulse rate, and breathing. That purr is good for you. So, get a cat.

Cats can offer unconcitional love, and invoke it from you. Learning to love unconditionally can certainly change the world, one person at a time. When you come home at the end of your day, having your cat happy to see you, rubbing and wanting rubbed, kneading you when you cuddle, can make your day better. And no matter what your cat has managed to get into, knocking things off surfaces, spilling their water, leaving hair on your chair while youve been gone, we really can't stay mad at our furry friend long. Your cat love you and you love it back. Spread the love. Get a cat.

However, I strongly recommend you get your pet from a reputable cat shelter where they certify the health of the cat, make sure it has it's immunazations, and is spayed or neutered before you can take it home. Unless you are becomming a breeder, be sure your cat is unable to create unwanted cats that are left to fend for themselves. And your cats need vacinnations against rabies and feline anemia. This protects your cat and any other cat it may come in contact with. So, get a cat and become a responsible pet owner.

It will make you a better person and you will make the world a better place.

Please and Thank You

Politeness. How does this help make you a better person and a better world?

Interesting that this virtue is part of being better. We Americans have a reputation of not being polite. I suppose it is because we ae so invested in being independent. We end up separated from others if we forget to be attentive to those around us. This separation can be why we aren't aware of the needs and desires of others, and therefore behave more selfishly, less patient, and without empathy.

Politeness is a behavior that can be chosen for different reasons, which is why many people are suspicious of polite behavior. Courteousness can be used to mask dislike, even hatred. Sometimes it is only a mask that people wear.

But for the better person it must be chosen because they truly care about other people and about how they are shown respect by politeness. Behavior that creates defensiveness only leads to greater separation and misunderstanding.

So, you can see how it can be a virtue of a good person, of a way to work through conflicting ideas between countries. And if you want to know how to be more polite, check out the video from YouTube below.

Perhaps the Least Popular Trait to Becoming a Better Person and Create a Better World

Sacrafice: to give up something that you want to keep, especially in order to get or do something else or to help someone. 

Most of us aren't good at sacrafice. Yet it is something we admire. We admire those military servicepersons for their sacrafice of time with their family, risk to their well-being, giving of their lives. We admire first responders for their sacrafices in the line of duty. 

However, many of us make small sacrafices for our loved ones. We give up time to earn a living to support family. We give up money for good causes. But is that truly a sacrafice? 

Yes, for some people their jobs are dangerous or really physically demanding. But do you do that to make your own life better? Or is it only for the support of someone else? And when you give money to charity, how much of a scrafice is it? 

When I was working, I did it to support myself and to feel fullfilled. Of course, at that point I was single and my kids were on their own. So only when I got too ill to work, and worked anyway, was it a sacrifice? But it was still a sacrifice for myself. I gave up something that I wanted to keep, my time and health, to get somtheing for myself. So not a true sacrifice. 

And, while I give a lot of my money to charity, I still live comfortably. I could always use that money for something else, but it isn't truly a sacrifice. I don't know that my ability/willingness to sacrifice has ever be tested. I'd like to think I would sacrifice for the people I care about, even for people I don't know personallly. But I don't think I've ever needed too.

This sounds like white privelige to me. Even though I am retired and on a fixed income, I have everything I actually need and a lot of what I want. What would I sacrifice for something I really care about - like saving our country's democracy or providing shelter for the homeless or making a significant difference in the lives of Native Americans living in poverty on reservations? 

Do I have the courage to make a significant difference in the world? I tell myself it isn't possible for me to do any of those things on my own. While that is true there must be things I can do with others to make them possible. So, I'm asking myself, "What would I need to do to make that difference?"

I'm not sure. But I imagine it is something outside my comfort zone or I would already be doing it. I have gone to rallys and protests, none of them really dangerous. I post my opinions on social media and sometimes people don't like what I post. And while that is emotionally uncomfortable, it isn't risky. I collect and send money to supply Native American elderly with things that make their winters easier and to provide school supplies to their children living in poverty. I make hats for the homeless and for newborns. I crochet sleeping mats for the unsheltered homeless from plastic grocery bags. I collect food and other items for the unsheltered homeless and deliver it to the folks who disperse it to people living on the streets or homeless camps. None of that is a sacrifice, really.

So, what do I need to do to make a significant difference in the world, to create a better world? What do you need to do? How are you making a difference? 

I believe that joining with others for a cause is powerful and can create a better world. What cause do/will you want to add your power to make a difference?

What Will Be Your Legacy?

When you reach the end of your life what will you know that you have done to make the world better for those who follow you. We are each leaders of some sort. We have a chance to lead into a better world.

And, since we don't know when our life will end - it could end tomorrow - we need to decide what change we want to be in the world and begin to make it happen.

Keep your focus on moving yourself and those around you toward a better life. 

Click on this UTube video:

I'm a List Maker

For me, having a list helps me keep on track and organized. I don't know how useful listing is for you, but for me it gives me focus. And having things written down helps me create even more ideas.

So a couple of years ago I started compiling lists of how to make the world better through acts of kindness. I'll share them here and following posts in the hope that they will spark your ideas, and that you will share your list, too.

Today's daily dozen to-do list choices:

• Refrain from judging others or harassing them because they may be different or because of their actions. Search yourself or things you have in common rather than ways you are different.
• Organize a flower-planting party in a nearby park, school, or faith organization. Consider the response others have to the beauty of nature and what a difference that can make for their day when they enjoy your handiwork.
• Write a kind note to relatives and friends, letting them know why they are special.
• Open the door for another person when out in public, no matter who that person is. Smile a greeting.
• Consider needs others may have that you don't see being met and do something to change that. E.g. Approach bookstores owners and publishers about ordering and carrying more books in large print or on tape.
• Talk to others about kindness, why it makes a difference and the fact that it really is easy to do.
• Recycle all newspapers, plastics, aluminum, and paper, even if you have to go out of your way to do it. Be kind to the earth.
• Create a "smile file" with cartoons and pictures that make othrs smile; pick out a cartoon to cheer up a friend in need.
• Take a day and pay a compliment once every hour; practice telling people what you like about them.
• Call an animal shelter and find out what donations they need. Collect treats, food, first aid supplies, toys, cat litter, towels, and soft blankets for the homeless animals. Most shelters will encourage you to come "visit" the animals to give them special individual attention. Go regularly and get your "animal love fix!"
• Switch to pet-safe antifreeze. Antifreeze contains propylene glycol that carries a tempting but fatal taste to animals. Just one teaspoon can kill a cat and two ounces can kill a dog.
• Reduce air pollution by planting trees and plants in your yard.
• Enlist others to participate in the Kindness Campaign.

It Is Ever More Urgent

The need for us to make a better world is increasingly urgent. We must not wait. It is time for us to gather our wits and create more love, more caring, more empathy,  more healing. It is really urgent. Pay attention to what is happening and realize that it is up to us to change direction away from violence and inaction. We need a massive flood of kindness.

Will you join me? Will you help?

Since we can't change the whole world, or even our whole country, we are charged with changing that part of the world we are part of. Each of us can make a positive difference where we are every day. Spreading kindness is our mission. And it is achieved by myriad small acts every day by a multitude of people in every area.

We must enlist our friends and family into our Kindness Army. The old  "each one teach one" technique can serve us well. Who will you enlist? You'd be surprised at the results when you ask for help in helping others.

And what can we do? There is an endless list of ways to be kind. All we need to do is open our minds and hearts to seeing them,

Something as small as taking shopping carts back to the store or their cart corral, yours and others. Offer to help someone put their groceries in their car. Smile and say hello to people you pass. Let cars into your lane when driving. Pick up litter. Thank people who do things for you, even if it is their job. Just be courteous to everyone, including the people you live with. "Please" and "Thank you" really do make a difference.

And then, of course, there is the matter of sharing. We can share time, money, ideas, labor, anything we have, we can share. And you may be surprised at how much you can spare. It doesn't have to cost you a lot, although many of us can manage to give a lot more than we think.

When you grocery shop, pick up a few items for the food bank or for the homeless. Watch for Buy- One-Get-One-Free offers and get the free one for someone who needs it. That won't cost you anything!  But even spending a dollar for an item you can give will help you practice kindness. It can also be a way to spread the word and enlist others to the Kindness Campaign.

I have two "causes" I enlist friends in helping. I send items needed for elderly Indians in S. Dakota and for the unsheltered homeless in our city. Simply telling folks about the need and asking for help this winter I collected $400 for items for eight bedfast Indians on the reservation. We made it possible to send blankets, hygiene products, and bed pads for all eight. And an on-going project is providing needed items for the hundreds of unsheltered homeless gets support from my friends and family when I simple let them know what the needs are. At least once a month I collect a large trash bag of items for distribution.

What will you do? Do you have causes you care about? And who will you ask to help?

Will you take on the challenge to spread kindness wherever you are?

Please join the Kindness Campaign and please share here how you are doing. We need to share our stories to encourage each other and to enlist more folks to the campaign.

A Better You + A Better World

Yes, I know you are not the whole world. And I don't believe you control the world. But what I do know is that the better you are the better the world around you becomes. And the more of us who are working toward being better, the better the rest of the world becomes.

Now, this doesn't mean that the world is bad because you aren't better. This is not a blame game. This is about making your own life, your own world, better by making yourself better.

Here's a video that can help you work on making yourself better. Hope you enjoy it. And I hope that enough of us can make a difference in the world.

Better You = Better World

The best way to create a better world is to start with yourself. As you become better you do more to create a better world.

There are changes you can make in yourself that would make a positive difference in the world. If you are ready to start, this article may help. "How to be 1% Better Every Day (The Kaizen Approach to Self-improvement)"* 

http://www.iamwire.com/2017/02/better-everyday-kaizen-self-improvement/148918#.WKtjn_wDGlQ.email

“When you improve a little each day, eventually big things occur. 

When you improve conditioning a little each day, eventually you have a big improvement

in conditioning. Not tomorrow, not the next day, but eventually a big gain is made. 

Don’t look for the big, quick improvement. Seek the small improvement one day at a time. 

That’s the only way it happens — and when it happens, it lasts.” — John Wooden

One day at a time is what works. Which day will you begin? And what do you want to change?

*[Author: Thomas Oppong. Thomas is the founder at Alltopstartups.com 

(resource site for young entrepreneurs starting and growing businesses today). 

He is a contributor at Entrepreneur.com. He has been featured on Smallbusinessheroes.co.uk 

and Evancarmichael.com as a top source of resources for entrepreneurs.]