Compassion and kindness are built "into our cellular blueprint."* So are aggression, competition, and fear. If this is so, why then are some people more kind than others? Why isn't everyone kind?
Our "hard wired" aspects of who we are are trained by experiences that urture and strenthen these instincts. Very young children are kind by nature and nurture. Most babies and young children are treated kindly, which nurtures that kindness in them. However, as they get older other instincts may be nurtured more. Children can and are encouraged to be agressive, competitious, or fearful. And they are often confronted by these same behaviors. Their models may be more of these than of kindness.
Consider what instincts are nurtured by what children see and experience on television, movies, internet. If this is not offset by kindness in their daily lives they are less likely to be kind. We are trained to be unkind.
The good news, however, is that we can be retrained by nurturing kindness. Each act of kindness makes it more likely you will become more kind. And each time we experience some kindness from others nurtures kindness in us. Intentional kindness not only makes us more kind, it also nurtures the kindness in others. That is how it is contageous.
Raise your awareness of kindness. Affirm the kindness in you and in the kindness of others.
*I recommend the book The Kindness Cure, How the science of Compassio Can Heal Your Heart & Your World, by Tara Cousineau, Ph.D. to learn ways to nurture kindness in yourself and others.
How to become a better person:
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