Do You Worry?

Image by John Hain from Pixabay 

                “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.”                                   - Corrie Ten Boom, Clippings from My Notebook

It is easy to find something to worry about, even in the best of times, if you are a chronic worrier. And these days there are many unknowns that can fuel worry. Worry is most fueled by concerns about what might happen. And it thrives on fear and anxiety. 

What does worry do for you? It doesn't relieve fear and anxiety. The only thing helpful to do, if you worry, is to use it to motivate you to address the concerns. Ask yourself, "What is the worst thing that could happen?" And then, "What can I do to prevent that or minimize the effects?" Create a plan.

If your worrying doesn't lead to action on your part, it is a pointless activity. Usually what helps most is to address the way you think about the concern. Explore how you can change it. If you truly can't do anything to change it happening, the only thing that will help is to change the way you think of it. Control your thoughts to make you more proactive rather than reactive, you will overcome the worry.

- “Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”

- “No amount of regretting can change the past, and no amount of worrying can change the future.”― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

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Where Would You Go?

Image by Ylanite Koppens from Pixabay 

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? If there were no limits - not money or time or physical ability - where would you go?

Do you have any travel dreams? Have you thought of places you'd like to see but don't think you could ever go there?

I love to travel, but I have lots of limitations. I don't have the financial means for many trips in the world. I don't have the physical stamina or ability for some places. I'm getting too old for some. I don't know how to do a lot of things I'd need to know for some travels.But the reality is, if I wanted to go someplace badly enough, I'd find a way.

So dreams aren't enough on their own. You have to have passion. Your desire must be strong enough to propel you through all your "limits."

This is true of any passionate desire, dream, goal. You have to want it badly enough to do whatever it takes to reach that goal. So, you'd better have a good goal.

What makes a goal achievable? There are several criteria that help you succeed.

• It must be something you really want badly enough to risk getting outside your comfort zone.
• It must be possible for someone to reach. It has to be within the the laws of nature. You can't change some things, like gravity and your date of birth.
• It must be compatible with your value system. If it isn't, you would eventually  regret it.
• It needs to be time-ended so you can track your progress.

Of course, there is no guarantee you will achieve it, however. So, it might  be a good idea to have  plan B.

But I encourage you to go for it. Don't end up regretting not even trying to do what you dream of.

                                           Image by Julius Silver from Pixabay 

We Sure Talk Funny

Have you ever thought about some of the things Americans say? It is no wonder our language is so hard to learn.

When you go to the bathroom, do you always take a bath? What about public bathrooms?Hmm. Maybe you go to the rest room, instead, where you lie down and take a nap!

How about "Making a meatloaf is a piece of cake"? Talk about confusing! Are we talking about the entree or the desert?

Winning first prize was a walk in the park. A walking contest? What?

Can you imagine trying to learn English as a second language? American idioms are very confusing for foreign students.

I once tutored foreign students in college and they struggled to keep up. One student told me it took at least an hour to read each page of his text book!

And in Spanish class we learned that "Don't by a cat for a hare," the the equivalent of our "Don't buy a pig in a poke."

So, yeah, we talk funny. What are some you use?

What to Do when You Feel Depressed

Image by Holger Langmaier from Pixabay 

There are still people who believe depression is a weakness. It is especially hard for very independent people to acknowledge to themselves that they may need to have help to feel better. For that matter,they may not even believe they have a right to feel better.

No one deserves to be depressed, clinically depressed that is. Basically, clinical depression is feeling depressed for two or  more weeks of feeling depressed or experiencing other expression symptoms.

And it is definitely not  a weakness to ask for help. It actually takes personal strength to reach out for help. And the reality of depression is that it is quite treatable. But that means you can't do it alone.

First you need to accept that you need to reach out to someone to ask for specific responses. You can simply tell someone you know, "I've not been feeling great lately. I'd like to touch base with you more often because I enjoy talking or spending time with you." Talking so someone every day, not necessarily the same person, or even not talking about your depression, helps to prevent depression. Try including someone in your other activities  throughout the week.

Second, exercise 30 minutes daily, not necessarily all at one time. Do something aerobically in ten minutes three times a day will get the brain energized with oxygen and adrenaline.

Third, eliminate ( or at least reduce) mood altering chemicals, including alcohol, nicotine, and other chemicals. The reason is that, while raising your mood for a short period, it is followed by crashing mood when it wears off. This roller-coaster of chemicals in the brain does more damage that you may think.

Fourth, get at least 45 minutes of sunshine daily. Even just exposure to direct daylight can help add Vitamin D, which fights depression. Sometimes a "light box" is recomended in areas tha hav3 less sunshine.

Fifth, do something for someone else. It not only takes your mind off your own problems, acts of kindness have been shown to stimulate serotonin. Serotonin is a feel-good chemical.

If your depression gets worse and is affecting your daily activity, talk to your doctor, who may prescribe an antidepressant. And you may consider seeing a mental health professional to support your therapy.

Begin Again

Sometimes starting over seems just overwhelming. We may not have the emotional energy to even try to begin again. But there are things that can make it a bit easier. Check out the link below.

There are myriad ways we may need/want to start over. I've had a lot of "starting over" experience. Even beyond my early memory there were the experiences of starting over.

I was born during WWII, so my dad was absent from us and we moved several times, ending up with my mother's parents. My mom worked in an airplane factory and my grandparents cared for me and my brother.

Then, when the war ended, my dad came home. He was a stranger to me. And my grandparents moved into their own home. That's a lot of major changes for a toddler. Maybe that is why it has been easier for me to adjust to changes.

When I was in Junior High School we moved from the only home I knew to another city. It was in the middle of the school year and I had to start over in a new school. I was behind several of the classes in the new school and struggled to catch up. I never caught up with Latin class, but the teacher gave me a passing grade if I promised to take it again the next year.

By that summer we moved yet again, this time to a different state. This really meant starting over in may ways. Not only did I have to start over with Latin, I had to adjust to a rural school after always having been in city schools. I had to make new friends. And it was a different culture. The school was very small and I was an "outsider" in that small community. But with the help of family and new  friends, I succeeded.

Very soon I was to go off to college, yet another unknown experience for me. I was only seventeen and the youngest in most of my classes. I'd never shared a room with anyone before, so dorm life was a big difference. I have always loved school, so that part was great. But I wasn't much for social activities. I had a boyfriend back home and intended to marry him when I finished my first year of college.

That was another kind of starting over.




https://www.wikihow.com/Start-Over

Down In the Dumps?

When we feel down, sad, depressed, we tend to see everything through a negative lens. Maybe you are so down you can't think of anything positive, anything you like.

I've suffered from depression many times through the years. And one thing that has helped is to have a list of things I like. But you need to make the list before you get too deeply down. Keep the list handy. And when you are down, use the list to get you feeling more positive.

And you can go over the list occasionally to add to it and to remind your brain what it is like when you think positively.

Your list probably won't be like mine - or anyone else's, for that matter. But here is today's list for me:

• Holding a baby
• The smell of summer rain
• The smell of freshly mowed grass
• Violets growing and blooming in my yard
• Belly laughs
• A child's laughter
• Watching the river flowing
• Walking a beach
• The sound and smell of the ocean
• How my house smells when it has just been cleaned
• The touch of silk and of fleece or flannel
• The sweet taste of tree/vine ripened fruit
• The warm comfort of a loved-one's hug
• The softness of a baby's face
• A cold drink on a hot day
• The feel of satisfaction when I finish a challenging task
• Blowing soap bubbles in freezing air
• Giving gifts to someone I care about
• Seeing smiles of people on the street
• Listening to the 1812 Overture
• Finding a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that has alluded me
• Chocolate
• Soaking in a hot tub
• Waking up from a restful sleep

I won't list all the foods I like, 'cause I like a lot of them. But if you have difficulty deciding what to eat when you are down, maybe you need to make a list of foods you like so you can choose from that list. 

For me, food can sometimes be my downfall when I'm depressed. I tend to want carbs, especially ice cream and chocolate anything. I don't recommend that for more than a day. It would just make you feel worse in the long run.

So work on your list, so you will have it the next time you are feeling down in the dumps.

Grrrrr. I got it wrong again!

Is this what happens to you? You try hard to do something, you spend time and energy on it, and then when you think you've solved the problem you find out is doesn't work. You failed.

Sometimes you might even throw up you hands and say, "Never again. I'm tired of failing. I just can't do anything right."

Right here is where you need to take a deep breath and get real with yourself. Listen to what you are telling yourself.

"I can't do anything right." 

"I'm a failure. I just keep failing over and over and it's just not worth even trying."

Well, if whatever you are trying to do is important to you, a goal perhaps, then it IS worth trying again. Nothing is as important to success as failure. 

If you tell yourself you are a failure and can't do anything right, then that is what you will become. Because we are what we believe.

Maybe you just don't have the guts to fail. But keep trying. Don't quit. Don't give up on what is important to you.

Confront those downing thoughts. If you couldn't do ANYthing right, you would be dead right now, because you have to have done some things right to survive!

So look at what outcome you want and how important that is for you. And keep trying. Someone has said, "If you think you can or you think you can't, you are right."

No guts, no glory. Be courageous enough to keep trying.