Dealing With Depression Part 2

Image by 1388843 from Pixabay 

Last week we talked about how to identify depression as something significant to be dealt with. If you have noticed your depression has lasted two weeks, seek help.

While being depressed there are certainly things you can do to to lower its effect. Whether or not you are using an antidepressant medication, these lifestyle changes can help.

1.  Talk to someone. You don't need to talk about your depression, talk about anything. The important thing is that you have person to person contact on a daily basis with another person. Total isolation will make depression worse.

1. Avoid mood altering chemicals, including alcohol, non-prescription drugs, even nicotine. While these may temporarily raise your mood, they will then plunge you back into depression. The roller coaster of feelings will continue to get higher and lower if not interrupted. If  you need medication, see your doctor for the best choices and follow his directions.

1. Fifteen to 20 minutes of exercise that causes you to increase your breathing rate, aerobic activity, at least every other day. If you are not an active person, simple walking at a brisk pace may work for you.

1. Sunlight! The ultraviolet rays of the sun interacts with the brain to lighten your mood. If you cannot be outside, sit by a window to get direct daylight for 20 minutes each day. If you live where there isn't much daylight, you can purchase a light box that creates sunlight you can sit beside. I have one called SunTouchPlus. It was not at all expensive.

1. Do something for someone else. When you are doing something for someone else your focus is not on your own troubles. And the sciences have shown that doing for others increases our endorphins that lighten mood. Acts of Kindness benefit the giver and the receiver.                                                                                                 

I've learned the value of the behaviors both in working with mental health clients and myself. I worked for twenty years as a mental health therapist. And I've struggled with depression most of my life. It was only when I was in my mid-thirties that I learned these for mine and clients' treatment plans.    

And even though I now use anti-depressant  medications, I occasionally need to go back to using them.  I have a light box that I use in the winter months when we have shorter days. I have not only clinical depression, but it is aggravated by Seasonal Affect Disorder during the darker days.              

Depression can really interfere with your daily life. But you don't have to let it take over your life. Get treatment. Change some behaviors. Confront your self-talk. 

Life a better life.        

                                       Image by TréVoy Kelly from Pixabay                                              

Dealing with Depression

                                                                                      Image by Ulrike Mai from Pixabay 

Depression is a medical condition and the most common mental health issue in our population. Most people experience some days of depression, especially in troubled times. If you are depressed for more than two weeks, you probably should tell your doctor and get a referral to a mental health counselor.

How do you identify depression?

• Persistent Sadness:  When sadness lasts for days or weeks, especially when it is accompanied by feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, helplessness, depression, might be the cause. Sometimes you might feel sad and have no idea what you are really sad about.
• When you feel hopeless you become even more depressed. And you may believe there is no way to ever feel better. It is important to break the cycle of negative thinking in order to escape from all these negative feelings. 
• Feelings of worthlessness Worthlessness can lead a person to suicidal thoughts and even suicidal attempts. If a person feels worthless than he/she is more likely to withdraw from social contact, to become lethargic, start abusing with alcohol and often with drugs too. Over time  a person may even neglect self-care like eating, taking a shower, changing clothes, washing clothes, etc.
• A depressed person will respond differently to guilt compared to a person without depression. There will be exaggerated guilt over little things, leading to more and more negative thinking.
•  Anhedoinia is a major sign of depression. Anhedonia is the loss of interest in family, friends, food, any of the things that once felt good. This then feeds into the guilt and other negative feelings.
• Disrupted sleep pattern. Depressed people may go to sleep but not be able to stay asleep. Or they may lie for long periods of time without being able to go to sleep. Of course, this is going to change their energy level even more. 
• Loss of focus and memory problems are another sign. They will have trouble getting things done and function normally.
• Suicidal thoughts are the most dangerous symptom of depression. Anyone who has thoughts of suicide or death needs to get help right away. They should not wait when they seem to go away, because they will probably return and bring them closer to self harm actions.
• Constant fatigue, low energy, and tiredness are part of the experience of depression. It isolates them, which will make them feel even more tired and even more depressed. This is a circle is hard to escapefrom which it’s hard to escape. Fatigue will affect a depressed person both physically and emotionally.
• Weight gain or loss is common. Overeating is more likely in early stages of depression, while loss of appetite and not eating may be present in deeper depression.

( Information taken from : https://10faq.com/health/signs-of-depression/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIrqPOqLa96AIVFYrICh1mkA0iEAAYBiAAEgJrffD_BwE where there is even more detail.)

I've been depressed for most of my life. For many years I didn't know what was wrong with me. Eventually I had a doctor who recognized what was going on and prescribed antidepressants, which helped.

I became a mental health counselor and learned a great deal more about my malady. In the years since I've had periods when the struggle was difficult and times when I functioned well. I have learned that the medication alone isn't enough and that I have to take some life-style steps.

It is these steps I will share next week.

Help! I'm Sinking!

I've dealt with depression most of my life. The last few years I've also been dealing with Seasonal Affect Disorder [SAD] as well. So, this time of year I struggle extra hard.

SAD is the response of my brain chemicals to the loss of daylight. So when the weather begins to be gray and cold and the days get shorter, I get more depressed. And I live in Central Ohio, where we have a lot of gray days in winter.

It feels like I'm sinking into depression, which can be kind of scary. Even though I take my medications for clinical depression, the depression creeps up on me. It is almost like drowning.

There are many people who are afflicted with depression, especially this time of year. I'm sharing my story in the hope that you might learn how to help someone you know struggling with it.

Depression doesn't manifest itself the same way for everyone, one reason it is hard to identify. I'll tell you how it manifests with me.

An early sign for me is that I start thinking negatively. Basically I'm a positive person. I can see positives in most any situation. But when I find myself thinking negatively for more than a day, I can usually identify the depression creeping in.

Another sign is a disruption in my sleep pattern over a week's time. I want to sleep a lot or have interrupted sleep at night.

When I'm easily overwhelmed by life in general, I know I'm dealing with depression. Everything feels like it is just too much to deal with. I find myself unable to keep up with things. I have trouble making simple decisions, like what do I want to eat or to wear. I just want to sleep to avoid it.

I don't want to be around people, especially extroverted people. I feel like they are taking energy from me that I don't have to give.

I have a lower tolerance for people or situations that want something from me. Usually, I'm happy helping folks any way I can. Depression takes that away and I feel "used" by people who want something from me.

Basically I am miserable and have no energy to do anything about it on my own. So, what helps?
There are things I can do to bring me up AND I don't seem to have what it takes to do them. Here is how someone can encourage and support me.

Finding someone who cares for you enough to help really makes a difference. But you have to be honest with them and tell them you are depressed and that you need their support to keep you on track for pulling out of the depths.

The very things that make you better are things you don't feel like doing. This is why it is very helpful to have someone to confide in and to keep you accountable.

1. Exercise 15 or 20 minutes a day that increases your heart rate. This helps get more oxygen to your brain and produces endorphins that raise your mood.
2. Talk to someone every day. Not necessarily about depression but staying connected to others helps keep you stable.
3. Spend as much time as possible in daylight, especially sunlight. This provides natural vitamin D. And the sunlight helps raise your mood. This is the core of SAD prevention.
4. Make a list of three small goals for each day. When you are deeply depressed it is hard to think of what to do. So having it written down makes it easier in the morning to get started. The goals can be as basic as "get out of bed" to "clean the kitchen counter." Keep it simple and doable.
5. Do something for someone else. When you are doing for others your focus is off of yourself. And doing for others also increases endorphins that raise your mood.
6. Avoid mood altering drugs, like alcohol and caffeine. They destabilize your mood and can lead to an emotional crash.

Sounds like a lot. But most of them can be combined to do all together. Give your support system permission to ask you about what you've done or remind you to work on the things that help you feel better.

                                                    Image by M W from Pixabay 

What to Do when You Feel Depressed

Image by Holger Langmaier from Pixabay 

There are still people who believe depression is a weakness. It is especially hard for very independent people to acknowledge to themselves that they may need to have help to feel better. For that matter,they may not even believe they have a right to feel better.

No one deserves to be depressed, clinically depressed that is. Basically, clinical depression is feeling depressed for two or  more weeks of feeling depressed or experiencing other expression symptoms.

And it is definitely not  a weakness to ask for help. It actually takes personal strength to reach out for help. And the reality of depression is that it is quite treatable. But that means you can't do it alone.

First you need to accept that you need to reach out to someone to ask for specific responses. You can simply tell someone you know, "I've not been feeling great lately. I'd like to touch base with you more often because I enjoy talking or spending time with you." Talking so someone every day, not necessarily the same person, or even not talking about your depression, helps to prevent depression. Try including someone in your other activities  throughout the week.

Second, exercise 30 minutes daily, not necessarily all at one time. Do something aerobically in ten minutes three times a day will get the brain energized with oxygen and adrenaline.

Third, eliminate ( or at least reduce) mood altering chemicals, including alcohol, nicotine, and other chemicals. The reason is that, while raising your mood for a short period, it is followed by crashing mood when it wears off. This roller-coaster of chemicals in the brain does more damage that you may think.

Fourth, get at least 45 minutes of sunshine daily. Even just exposure to direct daylight can help add Vitamin D, which fights depression. Sometimes a "light box" is recomended in areas tha hav3 less sunshine.

Fifth, do something for someone else. It not only takes your mind off your own problems, acts of kindness have been shown to stimulate serotonin. Serotonin is a feel-good chemical.

If your depression gets worse and is affecting your daily activity, talk to your doctor, who may prescribe an antidepressant. And you may consider seeing a mental health professional to support your therapy.

Down In the Dumps?

When we feel down, sad, depressed, we tend to see everything through a negative lens. Maybe you are so down you can't think of anything positive, anything you like.

I've suffered from depression many times through the years. And one thing that has helped is to have a list of things I like. But you need to make the list before you get too deeply down. Keep the list handy. And when you are down, use the list to get you feeling more positive.

And you can go over the list occasionally to add to it and to remind your brain what it is like when you think positively.

Your list probably won't be like mine - or anyone else's, for that matter. But here is today's list for me:

• Holding a baby
• The smell of summer rain
• The smell of freshly mowed grass
• Violets growing and blooming in my yard
• Belly laughs
• A child's laughter
• Watching the river flowing
• Walking a beach
• The sound and smell of the ocean
• How my house smells when it has just been cleaned
• The touch of silk and of fleece or flannel
• The sweet taste of tree/vine ripened fruit
• The warm comfort of a loved-one's hug
• The softness of a baby's face
• A cold drink on a hot day
• The feel of satisfaction when I finish a challenging task
• Blowing soap bubbles in freezing air
• Giving gifts to someone I care about
• Seeing smiles of people on the street
• Listening to the 1812 Overture
• Finding a piece of a jigsaw puzzle that has alluded me
• Chocolate
• Soaking in a hot tub
• Waking up from a restful sleep

I won't list all the foods I like, 'cause I like a lot of them. But if you have difficulty deciding what to eat when you are down, maybe you need to make a list of foods you like so you can choose from that list. 

For me, food can sometimes be my downfall when I'm depressed. I tend to want carbs, especially ice cream and chocolate anything. I don't recommend that for more than a day. It would just make you feel worse in the long run.

So work on your list, so you will have it the next time you are feeling down in the dumps.

Got the Winter Blues?

As I mentioned last blog, I struggle with depression. And it is much worse in the winter for me. This video might help explain why this happens.

And there are ways to help, so take a look.

Here are some of the things that help me: turn the lights on all over the house all day; use light box every evening to lengthen the daylight; have social interaction, face to face, at least twice a week (if you live alone, talk with someone on the phone every day); walk or swim for exercise daily; avoid any mood altering chemicals that are not prescribed; listen to upbeat music; write down three manageable goals/tasks for the next day; spend time doing gratitude list; have a project to work on to give some focus to you activities; do something for someone else-get the focus off of yourself.

Those are some things that help me. I also take a anti-depressant during the winter months. When I follow my list of things that help, I manage on a low dose.

Here's hoping your winter is sunny from the inside out!

Glad Day

I was having a real struggle with depression. So I declared a "Glad Day."

When I'm depressed I find myself with lots of negative self-talk. My mind is complaining of just about everything. So I decided I needed to at least turn off the negativity from my own mind.

That Glad Day I would catch each negative I was aware of and find something related to be glad about. For instance, I had to go out in the snow and ice and was grumbling about that. So I said to myself, "I can be glad that people clear their sidewalks and the city clears the main streets."

And I grumbled about my body aches and pains and reminded myself, "I can be glad that I can get out of bed and walk even when it hurts."

And I kept finding things I could be glad about. I even thought of them before I grumbled about it. I was glad I had enough gas to get to the place I had to go. I was glad that we had enough food without having to go to the grocery store, even if it wasn't just what I wanted.

I can be glad for so many things that when I enumerate them there isn't room to note all the negatives!

So, if you struggle with depression or hear yourself grumbling, declare a "Glad Day!"

BGTL Month: Why?

Maybe you are wondering what the heck BGTL Month is. Well, it is the month of February dedicated to Be Good To Lucinda. It is a month when I determine to do something every day that is self-caring, that makes me feel good.

Why? Because I have a hard time taking care of myself emotionally. I forget to take care of myself when there are so many others who need care so many things to do. I get into being a "human doing" rather than a "human being."

Yes, I do get benefit from doing for others. It feels good. But it can sometimes be a distraction from really taking care of me. So I dedicate the shortest month of the year to BGTL. It is a cold month and the cold makes my body hurt more. More pain adds to the depression.  February is usually the worst month for my Seasonal Affect Disorder because we don't get a lot of sun then. And I struggle with depression.

When I'm depressed I catch myself doing negative self-talk, which, of course, makes the depression worse! So I use this month to keep reminding myself that I am worth taking care of. I make it a point to reach out to people more for social support. I treat myself to simple pleasures and spend time making plans for future vacations. We go to movies and buy ice cream. I go window shopping at a mall to get exercise when the weather doesn't encourage me to walk outside. I read more. I work on craft or sewing projects - being creative builds my self-esteem.

And I seek out motivation and guidance from experts. I found this video today and like it a lot. I hope it encourages you to take care of your emotional health. Maybe you can set aside a day or week or month to Be Good To --- you! Let me know if you do!

Where There Is Light There Is Hope

How hopeful are you about your future? about our country? about the world? Think about it.

We see so many tragic things in the media that it is easy to think there is nothing to look forward to. Our sense of helplessness to change the direction of our life or our country or the world can point us in the darkest of directions. We don't know that there is anything we can do. And depression is the by-product of this thinking.

But we have hope,although we deny it. The reality is that we can create our own hope. And hope matters. Hope is a choice.Hope can be learned and hope can be shared. (Making Hope Happen, Create the Future You Want for Yourself and Others  by Shane J. Lopez, Ph.D., Gallup Senior Scientist)

Hope matters. Without hope we would do nothing to make things better.

Hope is a choice. We can choose to look for ways to change things or we can sit and stew in what we deem is a hopeless situation.

Hope can be learned. We may have developed a hopeless attitude. But we can unlearn that and find the hope in everything.

Hope can be shared with others. When we express hopefulness and act on our hope we share hopefulness with others. We can create ripples of hope that spread far beyond us.

Create hope.

TW3-Anyone Remember That Show?

It was a BBC TV show that reviewed the news with satire. Like SNL today, it was about comedy and entertainment. You can find it on YouTube now.

But my week wasn't funny and it wasn't what I'd call entertaining. It was a week of challenges for me.

In my last post I shared that a friend had died and that I was stunned. It happened right after I began battling Seasonal Affect Disorder, as I do every autumn. For some reason it hit me harder this year and was more of a struggle. My friend's death found me in a low and vulnerable state.

Then on Thursday my mother-in-law, who is 95 and lives in another part of the state, fell and broke her hip. My spouse dropped everything and went to be with her. Thursday night I learned that they had scheduled surgery for her on Friday at noon.

Also on Thursday night, late, I got word that my older daughter, who lives in Canada, had been in a car wreck and been taken to hospital. I didn't learn that she had broken no bones and was at home resting until the next morning.

Needless to say, I didn't get much restful sleep Thursday night. I wondered if my mother-in-law would make it through surgery and if I'd need to go there to support my spouse, or if I would have to go on my own to Canada to be with my daughter. I worried needlessly, it seems, as I learned on Friday that both mother-in-law and daughter made it through o.k.

Saturday was the funeral for my friend. There was comfort, tears, laughter at memories, and the presence of a multitude of her friends to share our grief. It was hard, it was good, it was important.

So now I am down to only dealing with the stress of managing things at home on my own. I need to take care of my health, so I need to do all the things required to battle the depression and to be sure I take all my medications, eat properly, get some exercise, not isolate myself. And I need to prioritize tasks so that I'm only doing what must be done and setting some aside for when my spouse returns. And I must keep reminding myself that if there is something that must be done that I shouldn't do myself, I must ask for help from friends or family.

Easy-peasy, right? Well, not really. I'm a) the most independent of personality types; b) very introverted; and c) don't do well living alone. So, if you are someone who prays or who sends positive energies, send it my way. This week includes Thanksgiving and I don't know for sure yet where I will be celebrating that holiday. But one thing I know for sure is that I have SO VERY MUCH for which I am thankful.

How about you? Do you count your blessings even when life throws challenges at you?

Thank you for listening to my challenges. I hope you will share with me some good advice for getting through them. Hopefully the weeks to come will be filled with more happy times and I'll be sharing ways to make the world a better place.

A Friend Died Last Week

It was a shock and I'm still rather stunned. I'm feeling lost and confused about how to integrate the whole thing with my daily life. I'm thankful that I had her in my life for nearly thirty years, yes. And I'm grateful that she is no longer in pain. But after that, I'm at a loss. I'm sure I'll move through the grief process with time. But I keep wondering things like "who will die next?" and "is this going to happen often now?"

You see, I'm nearly 76 years old. While my friend was a decade younger, many of my friends are closer to my age. We are going to be dying, I suppose, sooner than the younger folks.

I remember my mom commenting that all her friends were dying. She outlived nearly all of the people in her childhood. The people she had stayed in contact with were all gone. There was a group of friends who had been in the same Sunday school class since their teens and they met once a month for decades for lunch together. She was the last one living from that group.

She was less than a decade older than me when that happened. Am I to that stage now? Is this friend's death just the beginning of a cycle of losses?

That's sure a grim perspective of my future! And this time of year it doesn't take much to plunge me into depression. I can't let that happen, though, because depression is detrimental to my health. So what to do?

First, I need to take good care of myself. To take good care of myself I need to pay attention to those things that fight depression:
a.) avoid mood altering chemicals like caffeine, alcohol, etc.;
b.) interact with at least one other person every day;
c.) exercise, twenty minutes of physical activity each day;
d.) get sunshine/daylight every day - even sitting beside a window will help;
e.) set and achieve small goals each day - write them down the night before and work toward them the following day.

You'd be surprised how much difference those simple things can make. Try it.

But what about having more friends, or better friends? I've always had a hard time making new friends. I'm very introverted and find it hard to start and sustain a conversation with someone I've just met. And because of my introversion I struggle to be social. But I'll need to overcome this if I'm to make new friends. It is even harder to do as I get older - I have less energy and more physical challenges. But that can't be allowed to get in the way. So how do you make new friends, especially when you are older?

I found a YouTube video that is helpful. If you are interested, click on the link below.

And would you share with me your ideas of how to keep depression away and how to make new friends? I'd appreciate it.

I know this isn't my usual blog post, not all that inspiring. But we all need to know how to take care of ourselves in this way in order to do that which makes the world a better place for all.