Did You Miss It?

I didn't publish a post last Wednesday, March 27. I was wondering if anyone missed it.

I was dealing with some painful medical issues and just didn't have the energy to write anything at all. And I was wondering, how many things that we see or hear regularly would we miss if it just wasn't there?

Is there someone you'd miss if they didn't phone or stop by? If you pet dog or cat didn't greet you when you got home, would you miss it? If you didn't get any mail for several days, would you miss it?

There are trains that go by about a mile from us. I can hear them at night when there is more quiet. But most of the time I don't even listen for them. Would I miss it if they never go by again?

We had tornado sirens go off Wednesday morning. It was a beautiful sunny day without much wind. It felt really strange to prepare for a tornado.  I just didn't know that all the tornato alarms were being tested that morning..We usually hear it go off every Wednesday at noon. That day it didn't because it had already been tested in the morning.

Lots of people didn't even notice it. I guess the siren only gets us to look out at the weather to see if it could really be a tornado. However, where we live, most people ignore the warning because we seldom have tornados touch down near us. Probably not a good idea to ignore it, though.

And as I thought more of missing things, I thought about some of the things that aren't around any more. I am old, remember, so lots of things have changed. I miss having young people who want to do things like cut grass or shovel snow to earn a little extra money. I miss the milk and bread being delivered every week. I miss friends who just drop in to visit for no special reason. I miss laundry that smells like sunshine. I miss feeling safe enough to leave the doors unlocked, to just latch the screen door at night to get more air. 

Then, of course, there are so many things I miss simply because I can no longer do them. I am no longer physically able to do lots of things I used to enjoy. I can't go for long walks or hikes. I can't run or play games like badminton. We go for rides sometimes and I see kids playing hopscotch and hide and seek. I'd love to be able to do that now. I even used to enjoy mowing the lawn. Can't do that either. 

I'm finding this subject to be depressing, so I'll take a look at things I can do. I can think, write, daydream, have conversations. I can appreciate beauty. I can paint. I can provide feedback to people who want it. I can love. I can organize projects to help the homeless or other needy folk. I can laugh. I can enjoy music. I can read, to myself and to my great-granddaughter. I can share my blessings with others.

So, now I'm wondering what you miss and what you can do. Or if you even ever think about it.

What's It Worth to You?

You would think that it would be easy for us to make decisions about what to do, when to do it, how to do it. But I've not found that to be easy if I haven't figured out the values involved in those choices.

Your personal values are what is important to you. Take choosing a career or job, for instance. Do you take anything that comes your way? Or do you look at how that job fits with your personal values. 

Let's say your family is important to you. You want a job that will enable you to meet the needs of your family. That means more than just wages to meet the property needs - housing, clothing, nutrition, etc. It also mean that you want a job that will give you quality time with your family so you can be a good parent or spouse.

What situations are important to you in your work? Do you want to work with people? with tools, with nature? Do you want to work indoors our outdoors? If you don't particularly like dealing with all kinds of people, you won't be happy in a service job that requires you to serve all kinds of people.

What do you want from your job beyond a paycheck? Autonomy? Prestige? Respect? Admiration? Appreciation? Gratitude? Power? These are just a few things you might get from certain kinds of jobs. If you don't know what is important to you, you could end up very unsatisfied with your job.

And what value do you put on any of the above options? Is one thing more important than another? And is that going to always be the case? How do you see your self and your life changing in ten years? Will you still want the same things? Or will some things become less or more important as you mature/age?

Are you looking for a ladder job or a bridge job? A ladder job is one that will have opportunities for you to gain advancement in it. A bridge job is one that will give you experience or contacts that will move you into another kind of work at about the same level. Both kinds of jobs have their pros and cons, depending on where you are at the moment.

So when you are making important life choices, like finding a job, it is vital that you know what is important to you. It can be true in choosing relationships, in buying a home, in deciding to go for more school or training. 

If you don't know what is important to you, you are not likely to get what will work best for you. And, afterall, that is what you want.

Who's In Control of You?

Is your life feeling out of control? Maybe that is because you give the control to other things and other people. 

You can take back the control if you don't let that which is outside of you control you. It only requires that you change what you think and believe.

There are five things you must never allow to control you. Check out this YouTube video to know more.

It is all about you and how you choose to live your personal power.

Where Does It Hurt?

There are different kinds of pain - emotional pain and physical pain. I've had plenty of the first in my seventy-seven years. Maybe we will look at emotional pain another day. But recently I've been dealing with the physical kind.

I fell two weeks ago and ended up pretty laid up with pain for more than a week. I broke the large joint in my big toe and pulled a muscle in my glutes. It was very painful and I spent most of my time in a recliner, sometimes reading, sometimes watching videos, sometimes dozing. Only in the last three days have I been able to walk unaided and wearing a "boot" on one foot.

I have a pretty high tolerance to pain, usually. So it has been a surprise for me to have this much pain for this long. And being the most independent of types, I hate not being able  to do for myself.

Now, I know we have each had some kind of pain in our lives, probably both emotinal and physical. And how we react to that is different for each of us. Personally, I usually try to hide my pain, both kinds. That isn't the healthiest way to deal with it.

Pain is a symptom that something isn't right. We need to identify the cause and try to fix it. Hiding it from others only makes it harder for us to do that.

Are you the type that holds it all inside? Or do you tend to make such a fuss that others have trouble tolerating you? Hopefully you are somewhere in between so that you get the help you need to make things right.

Want to know more about physical pain? Check out this MedLine Plus site: https://medlineplus.gov/pain.html

And I hope all your pains are little ones!

Why Aren't There More Women at The Top?

This is Women's History Month and there is a lot of focus on women's accomplishments. That is because women deliver results. They are equally talented and motivated as men. Aren't they?

Listen to this TedTalk to learn why more women are not at the top of their professions.

When fifty percent of world leaders are women and fifty percent of company executives are women, I believe the world will be better.

What do you think?

Time to Change, Your Clock That Is.

Have you wondered why we give up an hour this morning? This YouTube video will help explain.

Now you know! In three days you should be fine. 

Go out and do something nice for someone to make their sleep-deprived day a little better.

The Cost of Kindness

Why are there fewer kind people? Well, first of all, that is an invalid question. There are lots of kind people. In fact, I believe that most people are kind in many ways. However, because kindness has a cost, lots of us pass up the opportunities to be kind to others.

What costs us to be kind? Many acts of kindness cost time. In our rushing through busy, busy days we think we just don't have time. Many opportunities for kindness don't really cost much of our time. But they would interrupt our movement forward. Stopping to help someone can seem like we just don't have the time.

Yet, how long does it take really to hold the door for someone who isn't quite at the door and you have to hold it for just a few seconds longer than it would take for you to pass through the door? How long does it take to pick up litter on your way to or from someplace? If you are really a kind person you might build an extra five minutes into your schedule to make it easy for you to use a few minutes to help someone else.

So, acts of kindness might be inconvenient. They might take you out of your comfort zone, like saying "hello" to a homeless person, even if you don't donate a dollar. Like supporting an unpopular cause or intervene in a contentious rasist verbal barb.

Some acts of kindness might require physical effort, like volunteering on a project with Habitat for Humanity or carrying someone's parcels for them.You might help an elderly person with yard work or home improvements. You might need to step in to help someone get something done.

Some acts of kindness might cost you money, large or small amounts. You might give money to a vagrant or donate to a charity. It is more meaningful when you give generously rather than "small change"

So there is nice - and there is NICE. Small sacrifice or large sacrifice may be the opportunity that comes your way.

In spite of the sacrifice, helping others, being nice, has a big payoff in making the world a better place.

Connectedness in Childhood Determines Your Relationships in Adulthood

Image by RitaE on Pixabay

Have you ever wondered why so many people have trouble in relationships? Much of who we become is determined by what we experience in the earliest years of our childhood. Research has determined time and again that the way we connect with people as a child shapes our responses to relationships as an adult.

Here's a video that explains it simply:

This doesn't mean you can't retrain yourself as an adult. But if you don't recognize what is the problem you have little chance of resolving it. You may want to find support for change with a therapist or a growth group. But as long as you keep the same thoughts, feelings, and beliefs you will have problems.

If you are a parent, recognize how you connect with your children. Help them to feel secure in the world. Help them feel safe to explore the world.